Would It Be A Good Thing If That Man Don't Come Back To Dogs Home?

[abbeylee90]

I thought I'd make a new thread so this man been on about in previous thread so I know from the dog's home had a strop other day as manager said he had to wear thier hi vi's vest with dogs home branded on when walking dogs. The manager didn't like my yellow jacket that he use to wear for work, and told him he had to wear one of theirs. So he told her that it was the lowest form of management "do as I say, not do as I do", as her and her staff never wear one, and that they should be setting an example to us walkers. She said I haven't got enough time to talk to you about this now, I said, "well you chose now to start it", and carried on, so it went from there. The staff wear thier uniform branded with dogs home. He hasn't been back since and not heard from him much either only when ge gave me a bag of treats to give to the dogs.

[Karamia]

Looking after a baby can be more tiring than having a full time job.  

[abbeylee90]

I bet it is

[lankeela]

I decided to stop partaking on AB several months ago but have dropped in occasionally to see what was happening and have followed the various Abbey threads.  Having worked for over 20 years with a young man with learning difficulties, due to having been starved of oxygen at birth, who comes across much like other young men of his age it has made me realise that Abbey seems to have the same lack of social skills, inability to make decisions and does not read the answers given in the way they are meant, has no conception of sarcasm or perceived wit on the part of the posters.  I therefore think you are all wasting your time trying to get Abbey to understand your comments, which is why she doesn't seem to respond in the way you expect.  Abbey really doesn't know what is the best thing to do in any given situation which is why she asks for advice even though it is rarely followed.  I hope you all now start to only offer advice meant in a nice way, and accept that she won't necessarily understand why you are saying the things you are.  I will now log out and crawl back under the stone I have been hiding under.  

[Countrylover]

I just give up.  I was told   by  mods that if I don't like a thread I should just ignore it.  In other words I can't voice my opinions.  

[scorpiojo]

Ditto

[abbeylee90]

I am taking your comments on boards and I'll say no he could ask if I'm being funny 

[scorpiojo]

But you aren't, Abbey. This saga with the man has dragged on since August, and despite all the advice you have been given, you've carried on accepting meals out, lifts, a gift, considered invitations to go out with him/ him and his friends, and called and texted him.

[newmodarmy]

Yes Lankeela: I think because we're no longer talking about work issues such as struggling to follow instructions for handling routine tasks at work, where abbey's learning difficulties were a key factor, we have overlooked in recent threads how these same learning difficulties must be affecting her ability to follow what to us is clear guidance, her inability to 'read the room' and her difficulties in expressing herself in a way that we can understand despite her academic achievements.

I hope abbey's mum can persuade her to get another review  with her doctor and some sort of social services or phsycological support can be obtained to help her gain some of the independent life skills she is going to need in later years. I am not sure AnswerBank is ever going to help sufficiently, however well meaning and patient most of us have been.  

[abbeylee90]

He called me actually and txt. My mum didn't know in August only knew other day. I continued as people said I was being harsh before then saying I'm probably the daughter he never had God knows what staff/volunteers think 

[Karamia]

I wonder if you have any brothers or sisters who have same struggles and insecurities as you? Are you an aunty to any nieces or nephews? As you never rwally mention spending time with family. 

[scorpiojo]

What I mean, Abbey, is that you should tell your mum how long you've been accepting lifts and meals out and whatever from him. Stop making him look like a bad person.

[abbeylee90]

Well he is only is if he thinks I shouldn't have a boyfriend. Yes a sister and neice they live miles away so don't see very often.

[scorpiojo]

🤷

[Karamia]

I agree that this man should not be telling you he doesn't want you to find a boyfriend, so he can spend more time with you. Nor should he say that he wants to stay single himself, so he is free/available to spend more time with you. 

The advice is to try not to have any further communication with this man and not to let him believe you would like to spend time with him. If you say you got appointments etc he will continue to keep asking. He is not understanding that you think it best not to see each other at all outside of dog's home. Just say it makes you feel uncomfortable and better fir you both if it doesn't continue. 

[scorpiojo]

This is what he actually said 

 

//Not exactly said that I said I'd like a boy from down there and said didn't think I was like that.//

 

...not that he was staying single for Abbey.

[newmodarmy]

It's not clear to me from that quote scorpiojo who said what, but I think you're right as abbey probably meant to type something like this:

He didn't exactly say that.  I said "I'd like a boy from down there" and he said he didn't think I was like that.

[1ozzy]

177 answers, if you include mine. 

And the powers that be don't encourage threads like this?

[Floko]

To Lankeela

Thank you for your post. I put on my psychologist's hat a while back, trying to get an insight into the way Abbey's thoughts are processed, but that was regarding her jobs. She did not answer most of my questions.

I can see where I have been lacking in regard to her social life and the mist has cleared. 

 

 

[Floko]

I hope other ABers read Lankeela's your post and absorb what is written

[Floko]

* read your post