Pants by Nick Sharratt

beanebabe | 16:49 Mon 09th Nov 2009 | Family & Relationships

14 Answers

My 6 year old son has got to do a talent show on Friday and the only thing I can think for him to do is recite a funny poem. Can anyone quickly give me the words to 'Pants' or give me a link that has it written down - many thanks, one stressed mum.

Why does my little finger pacify my 3 week old but not a dummy?

school hols & tax credits help

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Mr Veritas

Sorry,this poen is not Pants~
but IS
"Bump" by Spike Milligan!
It's quite funny,but might not be long enough for the talent show?

Bump
Things that go 'bump' in the night
Should not really give one a fright.
It's the hole in each ear
That lets in the fear,
That, and the absence of light!

marval

I can only find "Pants" as a book.

Mr Veritas

Me too marval,
I couldn't find it as a single poem.

marval

Kenn Nesbitt has written some very funny children's poems, definately worth a look.

pericat

This is a monty Python poem called Horace
it is funny although there is a slightly rude bit in the middle which could possiblky be changed slightly for a 6 year old to recite or he could even recite some of the poem
Much to his Mum and Dad's dismay
Horace ate himself one day.
He didn't stop to say his grace,
He just sat down and ate his face.
"We can't have this his Dad declared,
"If that lad's ate, he should be shared."
But even as he spoke they saw
Horace eating more and more:
First his legs and then his thighs,
His arms, his nose, his hair, his eyes...
"Stop him someone!" Mother cried
"Those eyeballs would be better fried!"
But all too late, for they were gone,
And he had started on his dong...
"Oh! foolish child!" the father mourns
"You could have deep-fried that with prawns,
Some parsley and some tartar sauce..."
But H. was on his second course:
His liver and his lights and lung,
His ears, his neck, his chin, his tongue;
"To think I raised him from the cot
And now he's going to scoff the lot!"
His Mother cried: "What shall we do?
What's left won't even make a stew..."
And as she wept, her son was seen
To eat his head, his heart, his spleen.
And there he lay: a boy no more,
Just a stomach, on the floor...
None the less, since it was his
They ate it – that's what haggis is.

beanebabe

Question Author

Thanks for all the replies. I know it is a book, just wondered if anyone could bash out the words for me. My son doesn't read that well, so I need to keep it as simple as possible.

Mr Veritas

peri,
That's a great poem,I have saved it!

pericat

I remembered hearing it a long time ago mr v and googled it a few weeks ago - google is a wonderful thing. It is funny and Im sure could be slightly adapted for recitation by a young child

beanebabe

Question Author

Found it on You Tube - except I couldn't quite catch all of it. Can someone help me fill in the blanks?
New pants, ????, Lighting up the night pants
Pants to pick a daisy - is that right?
Pants on your head, you call it crazy - is that right?
Have you seen these bunny pants - is that right?

You probably think I'm mad! The lengths we go to, to help our kids with homework! TVM.