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emstown | 21:30 Sat 27th Oct 2007 | Family & Relationships
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Can i leave home at 16 without parental consent?
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i dont know if you are allowed to, but I cannot understand why you would want to, please could you explain a bit more as to why you want to leave home now ?
Emstown: Before I provide any qualified answers, may I please ask under what circumstances and particularly, how far would you intend to move out? Do you intend to stay in the UK? Do you have somewhere to go, or do you intend to just �wing it?� Do you have any specific plans that justify your desire to leave?

And finally, whilst I realise this may be difficult for you, but would you mind sharing, ever-so-briefly why you feel you should not be at home with your family.

There are no judges here, just those who wish to try to provide appropriate answers.

Fr. Bill
-- answer removed --
Question Author
basically i hate it here. my father is an alcoholic, my mother is scared of him. it is arguing constantly and it is so uncomfortable. i actually feel like i dont live here. i would want to stay in the uk, even the same area. but move house, possibly to my current boyfriend's which i know many people would have a go at, but i really cant explain our relationship. he would be able to support me and does so in everything such as education, health etc, so much more so than i have ever had from my family.
thanks x


In the UK, our laws say you may not leave home without your parent�s permission until you are 18.

However, at 16. However, if you leave home without their permission, you are unlikely to be ordered back home unless you are in danger.

Whilst I understand your unhappiness, I�m not comfortable with the options you have described. My reason is that this does not show that you have independence. In fact, it may place you in a more dangerous situation, especially should there be a �glitch� in your relationship with your boyfriend.

Because of the circumstance you�ve described, I believe there �may� be some other options available to you, which help you build your independence.

May I suggest that you first take a look at �There4Me� website. It provides a confidential line for young people to discuss situations such as this. You will find them to be helpful and understanding.

http://www.there4me.com/home/index.asp


Also, you may call toll-free, the NSPCC on 0800 11 11 to discuss local options available to 16 year olds who are in desperate situations where the family situation is such that you need to leave.

Finally, there is one other site which I believe you may gain benefit from. It�s called childline. I'm not thinking of you as a child. However, due to your age, the law recognises you as such.

http://www.childline.org.uk/


0800 1111


Emstown: Sadly, the situation you�ve shared is common in our societies today. Are you able to speak with your mother about how your family situation is affecting you? If you are able to do so, it may be possible that both you and your mother can pursue ideas together towards making your future more b
future more bright.

Please do let us hear from you.

Fr Bill
Cutting past the crap
Technically and legally no you can not without parental permission, This therefore has an impact on ability to claim benefits. However if you are deemed as in need and estranged you will be entitled to benefits
but
If this seems to be the only solution open to you, you can leave home by voting with your feet. But it is a difficult path to tread but you may well consider that this is an easier route than you are currently experiencing. Do go to various agencies for some support
Good luck
Question Author
oh i also forgot to write, i could live with my sister too. it just depends on what's happening at the time. yes i have spoken to my mother, it doesnt help, i also have counselling, but have recently stopped doing it so much, the woman is so pleased with my progress and how my boyfriend has helped me back onto the right tracks. i know many don't understand about my boyfriend, and even when i say this believe it is an immature judgement, and i cant stop that but i know that he is the one. and even though i could live with him, i may still live with my sister or even between the two, it just depends on the circumstances at the time. i know many think i am a "silly teen" etc, but i am very mature and clever, and i am certainly not the type to move out at 16 have kids, benefits etc, as i disagree with this and really want to make the most out of my life. this is all i am trying to do and i am sure it is best for me.
I think Fr. Bill's offered you some excellent advice emstown. Good luck.
Question Author
also i'd like to talk about my independance, i know again the silly teen thing but i am just as independant as any adult, except the laws dont support this, as they should with the way most people my age are. i work hard to be my own person, and that is what i shall always be.
i really do apologise if that sounds rude, im really bad at putting things.
thanks to everyone x
Emstown: I�m glad you have written more. As I mentioned, I am not looking at you as a child. Your confidence in searching for options, such as coming to AB, is indicative of this.

However, with the other information you have shared, I feel you are most certainly vulnerable. You�ve provided us with another option to consider � living with your sister. Am I to understand she already lives away from the family home? And, please, may I ask, is she much older?

I feel this would be a much more positive option. I�m not discounting your boyfriend in any way at all. I�m recognising the challenges that can be placed upon a young person to meet the often pressured requirements to support day-to-day living.

I feel that being with your sister would be a much more productive and enhancing step to take. I also feel it would be more helpful towards your boyfriend as well.

Are you able to speak with her about these options. And whilst I accept that you have suspended counselling, under these stressful circumstances, I would encourage you to speak with your counsellor as soon as possible. She may very well already have some options available to offer you. That would certainly lessen the burden on yourself.

It is clear you are going through a most stressful time right now. I�m proud of you for keeping a level head. Please, do what you can to stay clear of the flying salvos between your father and mother, and endeavour to mentally �step out� of the situation. Perhaps your counsellor has shown you some relaxation techniques that may help.

Ems: again, I�m proud of you for keeping a level head during this difficult time. Let�s get through the weekend and focus on the options available on Monday.

I wish you well

Fr Bill
Question Author
yeah i hardly speak to my parents, not my business, and if i get involved then it means a much harder life for me. um my sister is 27, nearly 28, married etc good job. err yeah but ill probably live at hers and then go to my bfs at weekends, it all just depends at whats happening at the time really.
thanks x
i left home on my 16th birthday and got my own council flat
yes it is legal because ive done it.
if your old enough to earn money your old enough to pay bills. not easy though. i didnt have a penny to myself. couldnt afford clothes a hair cut anything like that. bills and food. and not the best of food at that.
its possible but hard work.
good luck x
what a load of rubbish ! you can leave home even at 15 .. the law states u carnt .. but it also states they carnt make you stay if you dont want to .. so dont liston to all this rubbish ok.. but please go to your sisters before your boyfriend coz if you split you are in a mess ... GOOD LOOK OK

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