Am I Liable to pay my son's fine?

[stevec46]

Hi, My son was caught Shoplifting, the police let him off with a caution. The shop where he stole the goods from have sent him a letter saying that he needs to pay �120, the goods have been returned, but the costs are for security, admin fee etc. He is 17 now (16 when he stole), so I am liable to pay his fine or is it down to him? From what I can work out, if he doesn't pay it, they will send him another letter and add �15, and if he doesn't pay that, it will go to small claims court. He doesn't work and doesn't have any income, he has been kicked out of colledge, but registered with Connections, so we still get family allowance and Tax credit, but that doesn't even pay to feed him, so I don't see why I should pay. He doesn't get un-employment. Thanks Steve

[alijangra]

Why doesnt he work? I would have been out on my ear if that was me!!

[redcrx]

the cost will keep going up if he doesnt pay. Why not lend it to him and make him get a job to pay you back? If not he will have a caution and a CCJ to his name at 17.
Now hes out of college i think youll find that you wont get family allowance or tax credit either.

[stevec46]

As he is registered with Connections , we stil get family allowance & Tax Credit for 20 weeks,after that nothing.

He doesn't work because, he can't be bothered, would ssoner go around skateboarding, have tried to tell him the importance of getting a job and that we won't get family allowance for much loner etc, but he just doesn't care.
We have been thinking about chucking him out, but I think that would just make matters worse.

Kids- A real pain..Yes I was bad as a kid, but I did work and wasn't as rude as kids are today.

Steve

[stevec46]

If we pay the fine, the chances of getting it back are slim...


Steve

[redcrx]

steve,
Im sorry that your son has that attitude towards you as his parents. I recall being told after my a'levels that if i didnt get a job Id be sent carrot topping to earn money, I was so scared that i managed to buck my ideas up and get a job.
Im not sure that most kids understand the concept of money and paying for things sometimes. I take it you buy his clothes, skateboard things, and whatever dvds CDs and games he may have (or is that why he resorted to theft?). Remove all privileges from him, dont do his washing, feed him only when family being fed, no snacks or 'extras'
Something has to give and I hope its not your sanity, your son really does need to learn to be responsible and I hope for your sake that he does it soon.
Perhaps asking in the law section may give you some serious facts that you can show him as to what will happen if he doesnt face up to things now.

[stevec46]

Thanks redcry,
I think the simplest thing is to pay at, worst case sinerio is that he doesn't get a christmas present, mind you the way he is going he won't be living at home, more likely to be in prison.

What are you supposed to do with them?

steve

[redcrx]

try reasoning with him. Sit him down and explain that life isnt free. Kicking him out will just fill you with guilt and he will get round you again. Firm but fair, teach him he needs to pay for things in life, did he show any remorse about the theft? there must be something he cares about and requires money for, skateboarding, girlfriends?
Im dreading when my son gets to that age, i remember what i was like and teenagers seem to get worse each year. Thankfully my son isnt quite 2, although i wonder what it will be like for him at 16.

[dot.hawkes]

just stop feeding him, that may sound cruel, but trust me, after a few hours he will wake up.

[Annlinda]

Surely if he was cautioned by the police and the goods recovered that is the end of it. Whats all this about fines? Since when did shops have the power to impose fines? That is down to the courts not some shop owner. I would go to the CAB and get some advice but in the meantime let the shop know that you do not accept their costs etc.
IMO they are trying their luck.

[dot.hawkes]

there is an organisation called the retail recovery agency or something, and they act on behalf of it's members, I think it is attached to the police. they can instigate a house search and recover stolen property on behalf of retailers, they charge for the service and the charges are recovered from the offenders.

[dot.hawkes]

Annlinda it is actually the civil recovery service i remembered, and they have the law behind them, stevec they will ccj you if you don't pay.

[dot.hawkes]

http://www.dca.gov.uk/civil/procrules_fin/cont ents/practice_directions/civilrecovery_pd.htm

[dot.hawkes]

http://www.lossprevention.co.uk/
check this site out it describes the procedures

[joko]

dots right, stop feeding him! better still remove all his priveleges - stop his washing, toiletries, electricty to his room if possible, remove his stereo, tv whatever and tell him he will get it back once the fine is paid, or it will be sold to cover the costs.

[stevec46]

Thanks for the many replies..

Have tried reasioning with him-although he is 17 he is very imiture and just isn't interested.

Can't take his stereo out of his room, beleive me when I say if we did that he would call the police and prosecute me.

Stop feeding him-does seem a bit harsh and I don't think that I or my wife could do that, again, he would call the police, but I am not sure that they would do anything, they might get social services involved, who until now have been less than useless, they might remove him-so that might be an option.
The other option is to remove niceties-snacks etc, but that would take an age to re-pay the �120 and he would be unbarable to live with.

Think I have to pay it.
We have been looking at getting him moved out, but, as we care about him that isn't easy,social services \ county council will put him in a half way house-not nice..

Steve

[lily-lady]

Excuse me....but are you stupid or something? People on here have taken time to write you answers and you come back with illiterate babble! Your son is a waster! And with your attitude towards him he will continue to sink lower and lower! Stop pampering him and make him get a life.

''The other option is to remove niceties-snacks etc, but that would take an age to re-pay the �120 and he would be unbarable to live with. '' Quote!!! Would you seriously count out every penny? He is 17 years old and out of nappies..........Start treating him as an adult before he does a lot worse than a bit of 'petty theft'. You, it would appear, are the one in need of growing up!

[stevec46]

Thanks lily-lady,
You are correct, people have taken time to put answers here and I will obviously consider them


Steve

[jenky]

sell his skateboard - kill two birds with one stone...

[happyred]

Totally agree with lily-lady! My God, stop making excuses for him! If he doesn't learn the hard way, he never will. Do you really think the police are going to bother with a complaint fron a 17 yr old BOY saying his parents have taken away his stereo!!! They'd probably praise you knowing his record!
Taking away privilages and not providing for him is the best thing you can do... It might make him respect you a little more, and he might grow up a bit if he had to support himself!

[joko]

social services?? prosecution??

are you mad? he is 17 you are not obliged to feed, clothe or house him anymore - he is classed as an adult now.

he cannot prosecute you for taking something that you presumably paid for - the police would laugh at him is he called them

no wonder he has turned out spolied