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wazzaa | 14:18 Wed 31st Jan 2007 | Family & Relationships
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Hi, I hope someone out there may be able to answer my question. My partner, 57, urinates very frequently and with an extremely weak flow. He has pains in the lower region of his torso/groin area, but he also has a Hernia which gives him intermittant pain, the two , I think,could be confused with each other . He's reluctant to discuss the subject with me although we are extremely open with each other. I have suggested that he visits our GP and get an all round check-up, similar to what Insurance Companies require when later age insurance is bought. He's digging his heels in, and flatly refuses. I was under the impression that his symptoms matched those of a disfunctional prostate gland, or am I worrying unnecessarily. Please help, it's making me grey haired!
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You can't take no for an answer here, wazzaa. He's probably worried about having to show the old man to the GP and about having the internal exam, as most men are (scaredy cats, the lot of them - they should try having a smear, or a baby....) However, he needs to be dragged, kicking and screaming if necessary, down to the surgery as soon as possible. Point out that you are too young to be a widow, that you love him, and are begging him (if necessary) to make an appointment. Offer to go with him. Make sure he goes. He must have this investigated. Good luck.
What is it about men that makes them so stubborn to go and see a doctor when they have a health problem??
Prostate cancer can be a killer but it can be treated and this may not be his problem at all. As Kim has said, get him to the doctor as soon as possible for a check-up and don't take NO for an answer. In fact, ring up and make an appointment for him and kick him out of your bedroom until he goes. That might concentrate his mind ! Seriously, don't let him sit and procratsinate on this one. Get him to the surgery as he's probably bottling all his anxieties up inside unnecessarily.
Get hi to the Doc.
The phrase to remember is
"Don't die from embarassment"
It's undignified but it's better than death.
Please get him to go to the docs. my grandfather was having ' male trouble' which he ignored until a few months ago when he started getting lumps on his back and chest. the specialist quickly confirmed the worst and he has decided not to have any treatment.He has an appointment today at which he is going to ask how long he is likely to have left. needless to say this is very painful for all of us and I have no idea what I'm going to tell my daughters - they're only four.
Your husbands problem may be nothing serious but he has to get him checked out.
Show him these answers, maybe when he sees that you were worried enough to seek advice on his behalf, he will change his mind. x
Sounds like prostate trouble to me.
Following on from my previous answer which was rudely interupted by me pressing the wrong button..

You are right. It does sound like a prostate problem... but it may be that he has a very common problem referred to as BPH.... Benign Prostatic Hypertrophy..... Which in non medical jargon means that the prostate is swollen or over grown.

I suggest you take a look at the best non medic website I've found on the subject for you... here you go.

http://seniorhealth.about.com/cs/menshealth/a/ BPH.htm

Also... do make an appointment. He does need to be seen. He'll need a blood test, and more than likely, he'll also need examining rectally... (Sorry bout that).

Best wishes
Jo

Question Author
Hi thanks to all who wrote in with, what I think, is good support on this matter. Yes, all, I think I'm making progress with Den, I invited him to read your answers. All your replies were helpful to me, and I thank you all very much, you may have saved me being a widow. Fingers crossed, as he has to see our GP before he can order another repeat script for other medication. I shall attend too. Thanks, once again X
Best wishes to you and your partner, wazzaa.I'm glad he's starting to see sense. Hopefully you will both have your minds put at ease soon. x
Question Author
yinyang, thanks for your good wishes. How did Grandpa get on at his appointment? I will be sending him all my deepest comfort for his remaining time. X
Thank you wazzaa. unfortunately, there's no way to predict how quickly these things will grow or spread so the doctors are reluctant to give timescales. He's nearly 86 and is actually keeping quite well so we'll just have to let things take their natural course.
Make him go to the doctors ..my husband had the same trouble at the same age ...in the end because he insisted on being such a stubborn mule I had to call an ambulance and rush him into hospital because he had not peed for over 16 hours .He was grey and on the verge of kidney failure. Would he listen when I kept asking him to go to the doctor ....no !
Anyway it was sorted out ..it was prostate trouble and he had an operation ..nothing untoward ..thank goodness.
Insist he gets it seen to ....march him to your GP !!
Question Author
hello all of the people (mostly female!) who replied to my question, all of your input has spurred me on. I made an appointment for Dennis, on Tuesday, but I was only able to do this because I had made Den read all of your replies. I'll let you know how I we got on. Once again thank you very much for the support. ;-)) X
Hi wazza. Hope you don't mind me coming back to this . It was just to find out how Dennis got on yesterday. Hopefully he was brave and you didn't have to drag him in by his ear!Let us know. x
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Hi yinyang, thanks for your concern. Den put on a very brave face yesterday especially since he had the rectal examination. GP assures us that he's fine. What he's experiencing is just wear and tear, whatever that entails! And that it's due to our rebellious stage which included drug taking, glad that's in the past too. I'm not a reassured as Den, but I've no chance of getting him to seek a second opinion. His attitude is; 'if my GP says I'm ok then that's end of story' and that wild horses will fail to drag him to any clinician again on this subject. Well when push comes to shove and the chips are down, he may reconsider, but for now I'll leave him to feel sorry for himself. He is waiting for an appointment to get his hernia checked out. So we're still smiling. Speak soon, and thanks once again, the support has been ab fab. X

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