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Does This Mean My Boyfriend Is A Non Exclusive Pedo Or Am I Overthinking Too Much?

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Jostina | 11:36 Tue 02nd May 2023 | Family & Relationships
5 Answers

Hi everyone, please be gentle with your responses. I want to be 100% sure if my boyfriend is a non exclusive pedophile or not. We talked about this once a year ago & he denied &was really upset that I thought about him as one. He got so defensive & our relationship was on the edge that time. I haven’t found any evidence that proves this (any under-age porn or fact I once caught him watching normal porn. No physically assaulting under age girls or even looking at them sexually) but there’re things that worry me
-He sometimes likes to call me baby girl/baby or his little girl..he treats me as if I’m his little girl but I also act childish a lot of times
-He said that he wanted to have a girl as a child when we get married more than a boy when I asked about his pref bec girls have a stronger connection to their dads more than boys (I know a lot of other guys that think the same)
-He has a 7 year old girl cousin that he & his whole family adore as this is their youngest cousin. he always feel sorry for her bec she’s diabetes. I once found a pic of her that he took on when I was looking through his phone, I asked why & he told me “Idk I just thought that she looked cute so I took this pic” & I asked where were they going &he told me he was taking her to go buy her a snack(His whole family were in the hospital that day as his mom was doing a simple operation, not a surgery) I’ve to mention this pic was a normal pic nothing creepy about it , but I have anxiety and obsess over stuff
-When we were talking about his younger sister (she’s 19 &we’re 25) he said he feels like she’s his daughter. After that he pressed on his penis(sometimes he does this when I turn him on,other times to scratch)
Last night we’re talking about some cousins(younger girls)&while we were talking he pressed on his penis, so I was anxious. He’s the oldest one in his family cousins. I then asked him if he feels any fatherly feelings towards any of his male cousins(he has 3)he said no. I asked what about the others(the younger girls) he said he feels this towards his younger sis mainly& towards 3 cousins that are his auntie’s daughter. Even tho he has other cousins but he said cause he’s close to his auntie.After he said so he pressed on his penis again. I got scared if he’s aroused by the thought of them. But then again I thought he can’t bec he did the same when he mentioned his 19 yr sis. But he didn’t do this when he mentioned his younger male cousins. Anyway, right after this conv we got up from the cafe& left & I noticed his penis was fuller, not in full erection state but a little more noticeable than the usual. I asked him if he has erection/a semi, he said no &even asked to touch it to check it out &see for myself (bec he knows I’m insecure and I’m always worried if he’ll be turned on by other girls in general) . I said I can’t cause we’re in public, he said do it now before I get a real one (as the thought of me touching it turns him on right away) we’re both virgins&we’re waiting till we get married)When I did press it was soft,not 100% soft like 80% soft. I was afraid if the thought of younger girls cousins turned him on that’s why I asked. Then I asked why he wasn’t 100 soft, he told me bec while he waited for me to touch it he was slightly aroused bec I was going to touch it..

Idk what to believe.. I know I overthink everything. Should I talk to him like I did now? I also have to mention that he’s extremely attracted to me, I turn him on within seconds as we’re both 25 yr virgins. He adores me & he adores my breasts & my female body parts. He wants to marry me as soon as he gets a job and he truly deeply loves me. I once asked him if he’s okay if I didn’t shave downthere, and he said yes u don’t have to & it’s completely fine you’ll still be attractive.he doesn’t mind me being hairy overall my body(legs..arms.. etc.)

Please help me, am I overreacting? Or should I talk to him? What do you think.


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IMO if you think this of your boyfriend and then ask about it on a public site that you need to talk to your boyfriend like the adult you claim to be.
I think you are the one with problems, not your boyfriend. If you really believe he is a paedophile you'd run a mile.
You haven't said anything that rings alarm bells, I know men who have been married many years and call their wives babe or similar.
Nothing wrong in thinking a young female relative is cute, perfectly normal for a man to want a daughter.
The only unusual thing is that he claims to be a virgin at 25 but there is nothing wrong with that, either.

You really need to ask yourself why you are suspecting him of being a paedophile with absolutely no evidence
no wonder young people say they are tired all the time
I call my wife, my daughters and my granddaughter 'Babe' as a matter of course.

You are over-thinking this.

Talk to your boyfriend.
It seems to me that you are wanting, for whatever reason, to expose your boyfriend as a paedophile and you are looking for reasons to claim that he might be one.
The reasons that you have described to "show" that he is a paedophile are ridiculous and would certainly never be taken seriously by any court of law.
Your boyfriend would be better off without you.

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