Is it normal for people to see £ notes when somebody dies.

[MartinBev58]

My father passed away suddenly on the 7th December and I have received sympathy cards from friends and closer members of the family. I am the sole beneficiary of his will.
To date I have also received 7 phone calls from people he used to go to a club with who think there are people there who are far more worthy of receiving the proceeds of the estate than me.
I have also received 2 calls from very distant relatives who think they should have some of the money.
The amounts people have sugested total about double the amount of my father's estate.

[madmaggot]

I hope you find the strength to get through your loss Martin. You don't need these people and certainly don't need to waste your time worrying about them.
If/when anyone calls thank them for thinking about you (sarcasm) and tell them that fortunately your father left a will so you are able to distribute his estate in exactly the way that he wished and that sadly he did not feel that he wanted them to benefit.

[joko]

even if they were the most worthy people in the world -its irrelevant.

i would either say nothing at all, just ignore them...let them sit and wait in vain,
or just say "well i am sure you will find out soon enough whether my father was in agreement with you when his will is read out ... you will get what you deserve i am sure" - ie - nothing

do they know they are not in the will? or do they think they may be?

i cant think of many people who would choose "people they used to go to a club with " over their son...

just for the craic...i would ask them to write to you stating exactly why they think they should get anything, what amount they believe they should get and why they think your father clearly didnt agree with them, or he would have seen to it that they received it...

id like to see how they manage that

its amzing really - i mean even if i was genuinely entitled to something, in these circumstances itd be an absolutely dreadful cal to have to make... to just phone someone up and ask for cash.

[gossipgirl]

as the saying goes 'where's there a will, there's a relative'. forget about them and move on with your life, dont let people like that bring you down. He was YOUR father and they should show some respect and let you mourn your loss

[SpikeyBush]

Are there any charities your late father supported or was favourable of that could benefit, instead of some of the parasites that have been calling you?

[oranger]

its as natural as living or dying

[rozia]

Im so sorry for your loss.x would itell them all to bugger off, its up to you what you do with your inheritance, dont give anyone else a penny of it.

[MartinBev58]

Hi Everyone

I am glad you are all in agreement about me not giving any money to anybody.
As it happens except for my father's half of the house which has a substantial value there is very little in the estate in cash terms as he had been retired for 30 years.
I have not kept accounts but over the years I have helped him pay for holidays etc and for improvements on the house but I have not given him any large sums of money in one go.
My salary / pension was a lot higher than his but I wanted him to enjoy the same standard of living as me wherever possible.
In reality I am now inheriting his half of the house and a small amount of money but if I wanted to take into account what I spent on Dad it would be a lot less.
With regard to a charity donation Dad has written in his will he wants to leave £200 to Cancer Research UK.
As the will was written in 1999 I will add £300 to it but nobody else will benefit from the estate apart from myself.

Martin

[naomi24]

I wouldn't discuss it with them. Tell them that and put the phone down. Treat them as 'nuisance callers', because that's all they are.

[Ann]

So sorry for your loss, especially at this time of year. How upsetting to be getting calls like this, its all you need! Try telling them you are giving to your fathers nominated charities and that you see they are not on his list.

[Ann]

My mother in law died many years ago not long after we got married. She wore a beautiful suit to our wedding which one of her (nosy) neighbours particularly admired. Two days after MIL died my father in law answered the door to this neighbour who asked if she could now have the suit, she knew MIL had collapsed after coming out of church and was wearing the suit when she was taken to hospital where she later died ..... how disgusting was that! Some people are mercenary!

[murraymints]

So sorry for your loss Martin....unfortunately the worst in people comes out in these situations...went through the same thing....Just treat the vultures with the contempt they deserve...if anyone phones asking about money all you have to say is that your father's wishes will be observed...nuff said...so sorry again...chin up...

[MartinBev58]

Well surprise, surprise an ex lady friend of my father phoned asking for her share of the estate over lunch.
She asked me to leave her and my father in the house and told me to buy a flat in 2007.
She wanted her son and daughter in law to have her house to live in.
Before I had chance to speak my father said that was not going to happen in no uncertain terms and she left.
At that point in time I had inherited my mothers half of the house and had the house re wired, paid for a new kitchen and a new porch from the proceeds of my house which I owned with my wife who passed away.
I was just about to say no but my daughter grabbed the phone and gave her a lot of abuse.

Martin

[cathfromsaron]

ditto dtcfan ... and maybe donate to 'the homeless' in all their names!

cath x

[smudger40]

Tell them ALL to GET LOST, or better still dont speak to them

[Everhelpful]

Sorry for your loss,and tell them ALL to P... Off.

[boxtops]

Tell them, Martin, that all requests have to be in writing - then when the letters come, just give them to your solicitor to respond to. He can formally tell them to clear off and to direct any further correspondence to him. I would.

[China Doll]

No, I don't think it's normal for people to do that. I don't know anyone who would.

[AlBags]

Jeez .. There are a lot of gannets in this circle.

Is there a history of animosity between your late father's friends and yourself?

[Eve]

I'm sorry for your loss.

I find their behaviour disgusting and totally inappropriate. A friend who recently lost a relative said a similar thing has been happening to them, people actually coming round to the house! It beggars belief.

I'd be tempted to get them (the blatent moneygrabbers at least) all to gather somewhere like a local pub (unknowningly though by separate invitation) so you can "speak to them about it" then not turn up but leave a message to suggest that you are too upset about your father's passing, especially around the first Christmas period without him, to go through attending in person to explain they do not stand to get anything from his estate but suggest they all have a drink to his memory seeing as they were obviously so close to him and as a mark of respect could donate to his favourite charity and hope they all shame each other about what they've done.

[woofgang]

Sadly it's normal. I would suggest that you get an answer phone and screen your calls. I am sorry for your loss. It's hard any time but especially in December.