stroppy kids

[prendi]

Hi ,has anyone on here got 20 something girls living at home?My daughter has just got a job and expects us to run her to the train station each morning,pick her up each evening,make breakfast,a packed lunch,and tea on the table when she gets home late.I wouldnt mind but there is never any thanks,just a slam of the car door on her way to work.She also seems to always be moody and unhappy generally,we want her to be happy but we cant seem to say the right things,whatever we do is met with a shrug or a sullen sort of manner,it would be nice to know if any one else is putting up with this!

[ummmm]

No....and I wouldn't.

Here's a crazy idea.....let her make her own way to work, make her own dinner and lunches.

Do you have MUG across your forehead?

[B00]

at 20, she aint a kid, stop treating her like one and stop letting her get away with acting like one.

[~Wingnut~]

Gotta say I agree with ummmm, her attitude towards you can't get any worse by you stopping doing everything for her!!
You would have thought by the time she got into her 20's she would have outgrown the stroppy teenage phase!!

[~Wingnut~]

B00! you sneaked in there!! I agree with B00 as well as ummmm :o)

[Kassee]

yep - sounds about right - but they do grow out of it.

I had four children, all very different especially in their late teens and early twenties. No probs with my daughter, but my son he was very much like your daughter. Exactly the same, very mono toned too - never any real communication - shrugs, sullen, slamming doors etc. Got in a lot of trouble too. But things improve with time - he is now over 30, happily married, a little boy, and a very good dad. I am very proud of him now - but in his twenties - he was just like your daughter. Hang on in there - things will improve. There are lots of pressures on youngsters today.

[B00]

wingy ;-)

[cazzz1975]

you have to lay the law down, stop pandering to her, how will she ever learn to be independent if she is being treated like a child.

[NOX]

You know my 13 year old daughter doesn't get treated like that ( either by me when she's here or at her mother and step father at their place)- kids need to be treated as adults pretty early with regards to logistics and consideration for others or you end up with the scenario you've got now- tell her to grow up.

[sherrardk]

Who's going to start the countdown?^

[sherrardk]

Gosh, that was quick!

[brenda]

Sorry prendi -- but think you are doing too much for this girl.Just don't do any of these onerous things , tell her that she will have to get cracking and do them herself.I know you want her to be happy , but as she isn't ,give her a few things to focus on , maybe she won't have time to be sullen and moody. Good luck.

[divegirl]

Hi, I'm a pretty easy going [single] mum and my son [19] works from home. I have always made a rod for my own back with my kids, I suppose I have over compensated for being the only parent, but I tell you this, my boy washes up, cooks his own meals, contributes to household chores and expenses and is a total joy to live with. You need to stop right now and kick her into touch. What a rude ungrateful woman!

Lisa x

[RATTER15]

Its not so much a "Stroppy Kids" as foolish parents!

[woofgang]

simple answer don't do it.

[kerriesmum]

Tell her to learn to drive. My kids are only 12 and 13 but there is no way i would ever run around after them like that.

[jewellerjim]

Prendi - this is the sort of behaviour you expect from a 12 year old - you need to set some rules here or she will never appreciate what you are doing for her. I would reduce some of the services you are making very readily available. We all get sucked into this as some point - half the battle is trying to regain some control over your own household - it's your house, your rules.

[spam_face]

i think you're being too generous, i was making my own packed lunch and meals when i was still at school. Then went to college and got a part time job got the bus to both until i passed my driving test.
If your daughter has always had these things then she's going to keep expecting them, you need to talk to her about it and for her to start taking responsibility as she's an adult and it will help her stand on her own two feet for the future!

[petal54]

Just hope your daughter turns about & looks out for you later in life caring for you as well as you've cared for her.does she not have any other way of getting about?

[Old_Geezer]

I'd guess it's nice to be able to do things for your family, but if you feel you are being put upon, and taken for granted, then the solution is in your own hands. Explain it isn't fair and you are passing some of life's responsibilities on as she is an adult now.

Who does what, is inevitably an individual family choice, and what is the norm at one home may not be the same in another. But don't put up with what you feel isn't fair. Although I'd try a gradual phasing of responsibility in your shoes, rather than just dump everything on her. As some suggested, stroppy young adult today may be offspring that can't do enough for you in a few decades' time. It depends on how they take your example.