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Absolutely no sex drive

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Velvetee | 23:42 Tue 24th Feb 2009 | Pregnancy
89 Answers
Since hitting my mid thirties, my sex drive has all but diminished and although when in a new relationship, it's quite rampant for a while, the desire soon wanes.

I'm now pregnant, surprisingly so, as in the last year, we haven't exactly been like rabbits. Since becoming pregnant, I have absolutely no interest in sex. My Fiance, hoped that I would turn into a raving Nympho in my second Trimester, as that is what he has read, but there has been no change.

He is a very passionate person and is always up for it, but since I became pregnant, we have had sex 1.5 times and I have no desire to do it again, I can't bear to be touched and find it all very irritating.

Does anyone else feel like I do? Did your sex drive return after having your baby, or did the situation worsen?


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hi velvet welcome to pregnancy world lol,everyone is different but didnt flood back to me for loads of years lol!!!
but good things wait till you hit ure fourties lol!!!
The less you do it, the less you want it Velvetee! I think pregnancy definitely changes things, one way or another. I wasn't too bothered about it until later on, either, but afterwards!!!!!! : )
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Well Puddicat, I'm almost there, will be 40 next month and no sign of the drive returning with a vengeance.
Have you tried "getting in the mood?" Try lighting some candles, have a nice slow romantic dinner etc, have a long relaxing bath, shave your legs etc and make yourself feel sexy! Buy something new to wear, do your hair and make up etc.....
You will probably surprise yourself that when you look and feel good, you will feel sexy.
When women have their babies, there raison d'etre, then sex goes by the board in most cases in my experience. Yes it differs in all women, but the bootom line is never the same in frewquency or quality.
But the important question is...what does the husband do?
Just because the wife wants or has to leas a life of celebecy, she should expect her husband to do the same.

Answers on a postcard to:
I actually disagree with that Squad. My fiorst wife for sure was a frigid bint but that was just because she is a generally passionaless person in all regards. my second wife was very passionate, both pregnant and unpregnant but after she gave birth to our first child it brought us much closer on an emotional level and therefore actually improved our sex lives both in quantity and ' quality'. I think it depends on how you view what's happening... she viewed our child as not only an individual but an extension of our love so clearly that would bring people closer, wheras someone who was maybe less sure about wanting a baby and could more easily distance it as an entity from it's father would possibly not feel so passionate towards her husband like my first wife.
sqad617...short of abusing mum & feotus he can try an animal if self-control is impossible. that'll fit a postcard
obnoxious....well written and I take your point.

"short of abusing mum & feotus he can try an animal if self-control is impossible. that'll fit a postcard " LOL
Now come on your women, what does the sexually active husband do when he has a sexually inactive wife?
I don't think mine really changed. In the later stages of pregnancy I wasn't really interested as it was too uncomfortable. It soon came back.

I think it all depends on the relationship. With my current partner I don't feel the need to have sex as much as it's such a loving relationship. He works very hard so can be tired in the evenings but we're not missing out as there is still loads of kisses and cuddles.
sqad....LEARN - if ur wife is pregnant her sex drive will decrease, simple dont make her pregnant!
Well girls....your answers are totally predictable, but how about some honest answers?
Sex is an important part of any relationship in so much at least as both sides if their sex drives varies need to reach an accord. Clearly if this is a long term difference ie one partner has a very high sex drive and one a very low one it can have dire consequences, but I think problems tend to arise when resentment creeps in and people start to feel unwanted and unloved. Communicaiton is your best bet in that instance but the fact remains as squad said that whoever has the high sex drive will end up feeling unfulfilled and it can have huge rammifications on the whole relationship.
Here's an honest answer....

I love sex but not in the morning...!!!

I like to be fully awake....although at times I have willingly succumbed....much to his delight.

I do not like having sex when I'm drunk....

I do not feel the need to have a cuddle after although he does..!!!

Sometimes I just can't be bothered.....

Sometimes I'm not in the mood but don't mind if he tries to change that....but get ****** off if it doesn't work and he keeps trying.

I like afternoon sex because you can spend the rest of the day liking each other a bit more.

I don't like quickies....

Is that honest enough for you squd?
I think it varies.
Some pregnant women can be very sexually active.

You are approaching 40 , having a late baby , so a lot older than any pregnant womean ive know .
ummmm........typical ...your answer was about YOU.YOU.YOU. my still unaswered question was about HIM HIM. HIM.

It was honest enough ummm, but didn't answer my question.
Any man unsympathetic to his wife's condition is not worth his salt! Males in my family have had families without resorting to 'diversions'. At what point is control of our bodies ignored? Do we just 'schit' at work 'cause we need to!

V's partner is passionate for the reason she is carrying his babe - V can help him if necessary. I hope her OH has more respect for her than to debase her for his carnal lusts.
I can only answer about me. I can't answer for him. Not until he comes home from work and I ask him.

What do you want to know?

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