ChatterBank0 min ago
My Daughter's Father won't see our daughter!!
This is my 1st time on this site as a friend recommended it to me as I am going through a rough time at the mo.
I have a 5 year old daughter with my ex partner but he doesnt seem interested in her at all. I have tried so many times to get him to see her but he seems far more interested in his 'new family'. My daughter now seems to except the fact her father is like this but it is so wrong. We have been to court so many times but since his son has been born he seems to have lost all interest in our daughter!!
Is anyone else going through this, I dont know what more I can do.
Thanks
I have a 5 year old daughter with my ex partner but he doesnt seem interested in her at all. I have tried so many times to get him to see her but he seems far more interested in his 'new family'. My daughter now seems to except the fact her father is like this but it is so wrong. We have been to court so many times but since his son has been born he seems to have lost all interest in our daughter!!
Is anyone else going through this, I dont know what more I can do.
Thanks
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Take comfort from the fact that at this age, your daughter is far more accepting of cirfcumstances than you are.
If he is disinclined to see her, then forcing the issue legally will simply lead to him seeing his visits as a chore, which will be more destructive for your daughter's well-being than not seeing him at all.
When she is old enough you can explain how things are, but for now, she goes along with the fact that Daddy is not in her life, and you should try and accept that too.
It is wrong, but as you state, there is nothing more you can do. In these situations, we have to live with things as they are, not as they should be.
If he is disinclined to see her, then forcing the issue legally will simply lead to him seeing his visits as a chore, which will be more destructive for your daughter's well-being than not seeing him at all.
When she is old enough you can explain how things are, but for now, she goes along with the fact that Daddy is not in her life, and you should try and accept that too.
It is wrong, but as you state, there is nothing more you can do. In these situations, we have to live with things as they are, not as they should be.
He's obviously a waste of space and you'll feel better if you make the decision to mentally cut him out of your life.
You can't force him to see her..........but take small comfort in the fact that it is usually a decision which they come to regret in later years.
Make sure he pays what he ought towards her upbringing and scratch him out of your thoughts.........however hard this may be.
You need to be careful about how you talk about *him* in front of *her*.
Daddy isn't a bad man...he's a silly man
You can't force him to see her..........but take small comfort in the fact that it is usually a decision which they come to regret in later years.
Make sure he pays what he ought towards her upbringing and scratch him out of your thoughts.........however hard this may be.
You need to be careful about how you talk about *him* in front of *her*.
Daddy isn't a bad man...he's a silly man
I just feel for her. I have a new partner, I have been with him for 3 years now & he is amazing with her but it isnt the same as having her 'real' dad around. My new partner wants to adopt her & change her name to his (as we are due to get married soon) but my ex wont change her name. He seems to just want to hurt us, he wont see my daughter but wont leave us alone either.
I sympathise - when my wife and I met, her daughters were six and four, and he had nothing to do with them.
Now, they are thirty-six and thirty-four, and I am their dad, and very proud to be so.
It;s easy being a father, being a dad takes time and commitment - let your current partner reap the rewards of that special relationship, your ex may come to regret his loss in years to come, but honestly - who cares?
Now, they are thirty-six and thirty-four, and I am their dad, and very proud to be so.
It;s easy being a father, being a dad takes time and commitment - let your current partner reap the rewards of that special relationship, your ex may come to regret his loss in years to come, but honestly - who cares?
Although I agree she deserves more than this, unfortunately, the posters above are right and you can't force it.
Whilst she might miss out of her biological father, she has what sounds like a wonderful step father. When she is grown up, who will she turn to for father/daughter support? I suspect your new partner.
Being a dad is not just a question of biology. Your little girl is lucky to have you and your new bloke.
Whilst she might miss out of her biological father, she has what sounds like a wonderful step father. When she is grown up, who will she turn to for father/daughter support? I suspect your new partner.
Being a dad is not just a question of biology. Your little girl is lucky to have you and your new bloke.
Thanks everyone, its so nice to have some support. I just dont want to confuse her. I only want to change/double barrel her name if I can do so for everything, school, doctors etc I dont want her having to use one name there & one name somewhere else. She use to be very shy & very nervous but since not seeing her dad has really come out of herself, she has all the love she needs & my mum is wonderful with her but I dont want her blaming me when she is older that she doesnt know her 'real' father.
Yes, call her something else and she can change it herself when she's older if she likes. My ex stopped seeing our children every time he got a new girlfriend and recently told them it was their fault he split up with his current girlfriend, because they were around too much (once a week).
Now they are a bit older and he texts them to come and see him, but they usually want to do other things instead. I let them choose now if they want to see him or not,. I used to encourage them, hoping they could build a good relationship, but I think he's ruined that, even by keeping in touch. I have made it clear that nothing is their fault and they can contact him whenever they like.
Don't worry. She sounds happy with the situation and that'll be fine for now.
Ih
Now they are a bit older and he texts them to come and see him, but they usually want to do other things instead. I let them choose now if they want to see him or not,. I used to encourage them, hoping they could build a good relationship, but I think he's ruined that, even by keeping in touch. I have made it clear that nothing is their fault and they can contact him whenever they like.
Don't worry. She sounds happy with the situation and that'll be fine for now.
Ih
My friend's ex husband walked out on her and her two children when her son was 7 and her little girl was only 3. He has only seen them a handful of times. My friend remarried a few years later. Her daughter and son are now in their late 20's and have always looked at my frend's husband as their Dad.
Your partner sounds lovely and obviously is a brillant Dad to your daughter. She won't be missing out on love and affection, as she is quite obviously getting that from both of you.
Your ex partner is the one missing out, not your daughter, Poppy. xx
Your partner sounds lovely and obviously is a brillant Dad to your daughter. She won't be missing out on love and affection, as she is quite obviously getting that from both of you.
Your ex partner is the one missing out, not your daughter, Poppy. xx
