Sanitary towels make great substitute bandages.

[Bbbananas]

Ok, so you have to hold them on with sellotape, and it makes walking (limping) a bit cumbersome, but it saved me bleeding all over the sheets last night.
I am very good at improvisation. ;-)

Note to self: keep big plasters & bandages in stock at all times, esp with one's track record of alcohol 'accidents'.

[Greedyfly]

What on earth did you do?

[mccfluff]

did you go out with lil?

[McMouse]

I use the strings to floss.

[Bbbananas]

Yes. Lil. It's always Lil.......!!

[Bbbananas]

McM - do you mean tampons?

[ttfn]

Call that improvisation salla? When my late sis had a nasal haemorrhage - it looked like someone had left the tap running - I put a super tampax up her nostril and drove her the half mile to the surgery. She insisted on keeping her head under dash board level in case someone saw her.

[McMouse]

I find tampons very confusing eddie..........though they are good for nose bleeds.

[Bbbananas]

I call it brilliant improvisation ttfn - who else would waddle around with sanitary pads on their knees?

(Thankfully I sleep alone.... mostly).

[mollykins]

This is a serious question, what did women do before sanitary towels and tampons were invented?

I saw a tribal programme where the woman would walk pratically naked and if they got up off a chair there was all blood on it, and then a child would sit on it . . .yuck.

[Bbbananas]

THey just used rags & old bits of cloth which they washed out, molly. Unless you're going back to cavewoman days.

[mollykins]

Yuck . . . . .

[mccfluff]

so what did you do and don;t make me laugh as my head might fall off

[Greedyfly]

Indeed very unsanitary!

[ttfn]

That's right Molly - washing lines looked like the bunting had gone out every month

[jno]

you have sanitary towels on your knees...

and you sleep alone.

I wonder why...

[Bbbananas]

Sat out drinking from 4 p.m. Until 8 p.m. Annoyed the neighbours. Danced round the cherry tree to Abba's Dancing Queen. Had a bizarre call from a Danish girl who'd got pregnant & been deserted by an ex boyfriend of Lil's (Portugese). Admired the White Witch's opposite's black 'entity' dolls which she makes & sells at weird Glastonbury-type festivals.

If I had left it there, things would have been reasonable. Then was persuaded to join my daughter, her BF & his brother down from Scotland for a 'quick drink'. It was Quiz night - we very boisterously came 2nd. I was chatted up by an 80 year old who "wants to see me again". We staggered home at 11.30 - I fell over 3 times. Annoyed the neighbours.
Woke up yesterday morning covered in blood.... Again.

[jno]

Mollykins, women didn't use to have many periods so it wasn't as big an issue in the middle ages. (They started later, finished earlier and spent much of the time pregnant, so they mightn't have had more than 100 in their lives.)

[ttfn]

You took the 80 year old home with you?

[Mamyalynne]

Salla I am forever banging my head on the kitchen cupboard, so will strap one on my forehead - much more tasteful than my tin hat☺