advice before becoming parents

[cre]

What advice would you give me and my hubbie before we embark on the next phase of our lives - having kids...? Any ideas from parents would be much appreciated...

[sunflower68]

Best  piece of advice "Don't panic captain Mannering".  Watch the hilarious Steve Martin movie "Parenthood" and at the end of it, the couple just love all the ups and downs of family life.

All of the above, from andyhughes, of course.  Enjoy it while you can; you will honestly look back on the early years with a blur!  Keep a little journal, just for yourself, all the good bits, bad bits, funny bits recorded.

They can never have too much love and kisses; stick to your guns - mum does know best.  Don't listen to the mums harping on about their perfect kids - just smile sweetly and walk away.

Take lots of pics -  Mr cre, please take photies of newborn in hospital but cre will not be chuffed if you snap her too.

Don't waste money on designer  baby clothes  PLEASE.

Kids do pick up on their parents from an extremely early age.  Be calm and chilled from now - you are probably more likely to conceive and later on, baby is more likely to sleep through the night and be a laid back baby.

Ask for an epidural.  Don't try and be brave.  No one will be interested that you tried to avoid painkillers.  You will need to keep your stregnth   up for when the baby comes.

You're going to be a fab mum - have fun!

[Solarjunkie]

Get your head round having a child, not having a baby - the baby bit doesn't last long!

Be positive - many children spend their lives hearing don't, stop, leave, etc, while 80% of such interactions should be positive. eg "you are a good girl sitting quietly with your doll while I pack away the shopping" not just praise for the big things.

Include them in daily life, right from the start, don't let it develop into a adult/child split. Show them respect, then they'll show you the same.

Oh, and every phase only lasts six weeks!

 

[B00]

Get as much sleep as you can BEFORE the little gem comes, coz u won't get any after!!

[Philtaz]

You will be amazed at how much  you suddenly realise that nothing else will ever be as meaningful as your child.  Everything else pales into comparison, things you once deemed necessary, crucial or imperative will suddenly seem trivial.

Your child will literally become the embodiment of all you hold dear and precious and their welfare will always be your utmost concern.

It's also an old cliche that 'they grow up fast' but they really do!  Spend every possible moment with them.  Grab a nap when you can(you can cope with anything as long as you are getting sleep) but don't let them share your bed, despite all motherly instincts!

Be prepared for the most demanding yet rewarding journey of your life.  Best of luck.

[smudge]

In addition to the brilliant posts above, thought I'd just add this little saying I heard yesterday:

All children need roots to grow & wings to fly.

 

 

[desertrat]

Get in some sleep now. If you have nice holidays in far flung destinations have an extra couple or splash out before the kids come. When the kids are young they won't appreciate the cost or the location like you do. Choose holidays the kids will enjoy. If they are happy you will be happy. Don't expect your husband to enjoy changing nappies - seriously - don't! I still have nightmares. Take lots of photos. Remember they are not young for ever. Try to encourage them and try whenever possible to explain why they can't do something. Don't just say no. Explain. You will be surprised at what they pick up. Spend time with them when they are growing up and take time out to play games with them. Don't just say I'm tired. Make a real effort to spend some quality time each day.

[Otrere]

I can only concur with all of the posts above.

Make sure its what you both want.
It is incredibly hard work and extremely tiring and at times bl**dy frustrating, but that first smile, that first word, that first crawl, that first step, the first giggle, the first time you hear "I love you mummy/daddy" all makes it worthwhile. They will drive you to distraction, but you'll never love anything more.

[laffo]

Be careful!!!
It sounds like all the people who`ve replied to this thread already have kids. they know they are stuck with them and are trying to make the best of it.
Think of all the things you will lose....independance,social life ,holidays abroad , free time, money,the ability to do anything,go anywhere on a whim.children are a big factor in divorce not only causing divorces but if you are a man you will have to pay for the upkeep of that child even if you are with someone else and so is your ex.

[smee.tracey]

Do it - it's fantastic

[hellywellywo]

remember none of us are ever fully ready for having kids and neither can they afford them either.  they are tiny aliens who invade your lives deprive you of sleep have terrible smells eminating from those tiny forms, the amount of noise produced could run londons electricity for the 5 years.  but when you pick that smelly loud yet small noise machine and the baby looks at you........ i cannot explain the feeling of over whelming happiness.   i'm to cry because of my uncharacteristic american-ness.