do i stay with him?

[chel132]

I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years, and I love him so much, but sometimes I feel like he doesn't love me anymore. He has told me that I have changed, and that he doesn't like the way I am now, but he still stays with me. I have thought about breaking up with him, but then I think about how much I love him, and would love to be with him forever. Sometimes I can go all day without talking to him, when we used to not go about an hour. The other problem is, is that I think I like someone else. I'm really unsure on what to do.

[andy-hughes]

You need to have a long think about your future with this man.

By that I don;t mean thinking whistfully about how nice he is, and all the things you love about him.

I mean taking a cool and objective look at how your relationship is working - or not - especially in the light of the fact that you think you like someone else.

Obviously your interest in this other person has made you take stock of your current situation, and think about where it is going, and if it is the long -term relationship you always thought it was.

Your boyfriend says you have changed, and that phrase can mean a whole raft of things, from simple superficial changes, to life-altering changes, and you need to assess which of those have occured, and what the effect is on your future.

have a think about what you really want, how you see the future, and again, be realistic. It's no use looking for a happy ending if there is not a happy ending to find, so be sure you are looking at what you actually have,and will have, not just what you think you may like to have maybe, perhaps, could be ...

When you have your own mind straight, it's time to talk to your boyfriend and get his thoughts - no doubt he willl have been pondering on this as well.

If you make a decision to carry on, then forget the other guy - comitment is meaningless unless you simply avoid temptation.

If you don't feel able to make that comitment, then maybe it is time to look at your future, as a couple - or not.

Good luck - and keep us posted - there is masses of experience on here, so people will be happy to help you thrhough this.

[Ankou]

"he doesn't like the way I am now"

in what way? looks, personality, life ambitions?

[chel132]

He just says that I am different to how I am when we first met, in the way I dress, the firends I have etc. He has said this a few times, but never acts on it; I don't know what he wants anymore because he never talks to me about how he feels.

[Ankou]

well thats just moving with the times and maturing in a relationship isn't it. is he not keeping up? i think you can see it for what it is. all i can suggest at this stage is that you begin talking openly otherwise this distance will grow, and the decisions will be even tougher.

best of luck