what can i do?

[bobbikay]

my dad HATES me, and blames me for EVERYTHING! he's constantly criticizing me and telling me to get out of the house. and he never listens to what i have to say! he tells me to shut up. he thinks i lie all the time, and whenever i need to borrow money, he assumes it's for booze or smokes. he always thinks the worst of me. and he's a neat freak too, so he yells at everyone (including mom) to clean up, yet he's not willing to help. he has no faith in me. i've already moved out twice, but i always end up having to come back (cuz i lived with my friends families) and when i do try to do something good for him, it's never good enough, cuz i "couldve done better" he gets abusive too, when i backtalk. i've called the cops on him, but i'm too chicken to really do anything major about it. why does my dad hate me? what can i do?

[sweetpea1]

how old are you? from me being 15 Me and my dad never use to get on, we would always be argueing about silly things but when i got to about 21 things got so much better i guess it was a clash of personalitys we are so much alike but we are now best friends as well as son and dad and have been ever since!
maybe your dad just wants better things for you then he done! but if he is hurting you you need to talk to someone about this try a close family member.

hope this help and things get better

sweetpeas1's better half

[bobbikay]

thanks for ur advice :D

[smudge]

Easier said than done I know - but perhaps you could write your Dad a letter explaining exactly how you feel, not just about yourself, but about the way he treats your Mum too.

Write down all your true feelings & if he is any kind of Dad & husband, he might arrange to sit & have a good heart to heart with you.

Good luck bobbikay.

[dickoh]

I wish I could know your age, and whether you drink, smoke and at times argue and exchange word with him or had had ough time with him before. May Be you started by pending out without his information or if at all you wer in adolescent stage , it over reacted with you to negatively picure yourself before your dad.

Do you have a job, do you Go to college? What is your responsibility in this house as a son cos could be your dad feels you are not doing enough?

My advise to you please, NEVER give up ok, he is your dad and will remain your dad, so just try to rebuild confidence and good hopes to restore the Glory of PEACE LOVE and UNITY in your family because I believe there is just some bit of amendable issues. Do you critisize him in his presence may be with your mom that makes him feels lonely?

He could be sufering from something you have an answer to like my uncle whom became so wild with everyone in the family not to realize after a year that he was developing some brain tumor which ended up killing him so untimely.

I know your dad believes in himself as a very responsible person and could be he feels that nobody recognizes him at all in this family.

M y prayers go to your family and I believe it's gonna build some moral values within your hearts to kill the hatred that the devil is trying to build.

Good luck My friend.

[bobbikay]

by the way, i am a 17 yr old girl. yes i do drink occasionally, and i am a smoker. the problems actually started when my dad was laid off work for a year. i don't know why. maybe he felt he needed to still be in control of something. i do try to help out around the house, but it's never good enough. and thank u, dickoh, it's nice to know someone is praying for me. and i'm assuming you are a christian, am i wrong? it's good to know that there are other christians on this site besides me. thank u.

[robotics]

God I feel old, not that old tho, I sooo feel what you are feeling, througout my teenage years I also thought my dad hated me, I was always the lier in the family and I could not do right from wrong, it got to the stage where i thought, if I am being blamed for doing wrong, I might as well do wrong, which I now regret (never did anything to get me into trouble with the police)

looking back now, I can see that he was doing it to protect me, dads do that, I think it is there way of handling teenagers, I don't want to patrinise you, but in years to come I hope you see what I now see.

I now have the most fantastic relationship with my dad and we laugh about how bad i actually was.

Be strong, because there will be many more arguments to come.

At the end of the dark tunnel is light and one day this light will shine


joanne
x

[makemesmile]

It sounds to me like your father was extremely upset about not working and, unfortunately, started taking it out on others - mostly you, but now can't stop.

I wish I could give you some sound advice - all I can tell you is I'm sure he doesn't hate you, he probably hates the way he's acting, but feels powerless to change.

I'm sure he really loves you, but you're at an age where you'll soon be your own person, and not under his 'control' anymore - and for a parent this can be a difficult time. They're used to calling the shots and can feel frustrated when they see you doing something that's not good for you, and you no longer listen to their advice. But that's the nature of being a teenager - you need to find out for yourself.

I'm sure that things will calm down soon. Try and bite your tongue sometimes when you're aching to answer back - maybe if you can start seeing things from his point of view, he'll start seeing things from yours.

Take care x

[bobbikay]

thank u. i just got into a huge fight with my dad, and it looks like i'm gonna have to find a new place to live. maybe it's for the best. anyways, thanks for ur advice, all of u :D

[CactusButtus]

I've never gotten along well with my family. In fact, I recently moved out. My father was never abuse, nor was my mother... I was sexually abused by my step father at the age of 11, and when I did let my mother know what he had done, I was told I was a liar and had no idea what I was talking about. My step father became very controlling and according to my mother, he seemed never to be wrong. I am a 16 year old girl from Australia and I moved out of my parents' houses to get away from all the accusations of me lying, being anti-social and just plain disrespect, to live with my boyfriend (whom they also dislike with a passion).
My advice to you is, I've found that most parents try to do the best that they can to bring you up accordingly, but not all of them know how to or some just simply try too hard. I am not going to defend your father, because I would NEVER condone that kind of behave from anyone, whether it be from a friend, a family member or a complete stranger. Your father is doing the wrong thing. He may not realise it just yet, but one day he will and he'll regret it. If he hurts you or threatens to do so, DO NOT hesitate to report him.
Stay safe, and I wish you the best of luck! xo