News0 min ago
Fat Theology
2 Answers
In the beginning, God populated the earth with broccoli and cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow vegetable of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the double-cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, "You want fries with that?"
And Man said, "Super size them." And Man gained pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair.
And Satan brought forth chocolate. And woman gained pounds.
And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."
And Satan brought forth ice cream. And woman gained pounds.
And God said, "I have sent your heart healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."
And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.
And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds.
And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil to change channels.
And Man gained pounds.
And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil.
And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.
And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy centre into crisps and deep-fat fried them. And he created sour cream dip also. And Man clutched his remote control and ate the crisps swaddled in cholesterol.
And Satan saw and said, "It is good."
And Man went into cardiac arrest.
And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
And Satan created McDonald's. And McDonald's brought forth the double-cheeseburger. And Satan said to Man, "You want fries with that?"
And Man said, "Super size them." And Man gained pounds.
And God created the healthful yogurt, that woman might keep her figure that man found so fair.
And Satan brought forth chocolate. And woman gained pounds.
And God said, "Try my crispy fresh salad."
And Satan brought forth ice cream. And woman gained pounds.
And God said, "I have sent your heart healthy vegetables and olive oil with which to cook them."
And Satan brought forth chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained pounds and his bad cholesterol went through the roof.
And God brought forth running shoes and Man resolved to lose those extra pounds.
And Satan brought forth cable TV with remote control so Man would not have to toil to change channels.
And Man gained pounds.
And God said, "You're running up the score, Devil.
And God brought forth the potato, a vegetable naturally low in fat and brimming with nutrition.
And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy centre into crisps and deep-fat fried them. And he created sour cream dip also. And Man clutched his remote control and ate the crisps swaddled in cholesterol.
And Satan saw and said, "It is good."
And Man went into cardiac arrest.
And God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.
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Very funny - but oh, so wrong! I'm so tired of hearing the overweight blamed for being overweight. There is lots and lots of evidence now to show that getting fat is caused by a problem with our hormones, insulin in particular, not because we're lazy or greedy. If you have got this problem, i.e. insulin resistance, then you gain weight when you eat the carbohydrates which are so prevelant in our modern diet. Potatoes, for instance, are full of carbs and WILL make you fat - even if you cook them in extra virgin olive oil! Sorry to be a downer, but as an ex-fatty (whose finally lost weight by ditching the carbs) I really get upset when, yet again, someone blames me for my metabolism.
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