Crosswords0 min ago
I have officially dumped him
102 Answers
I feel painfully sad :(
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If you were THAT compatible, I imagine there wouldn't be any uncertainties subsisting between you. Chances are, the nagging questions are a gut feeling that you and he were not right together. Surely when you're with the right person, you "get" each other - thus leaving little room for incorrect assumptions. But just because he wasn't the right one for you, doesn't mean you are not hurting like hell at the moment. Grief is the price we pay for love....
You were also unsure of whether he was verbally abusing you - someone who loves you should not make you feel like that. Only you can make a decision on what you should do, remember yesterday you said you would do the right thing and you have. This is a moment of doubt and it will pass. It is through times like this that you need to be strong, keep busy and not text him.
Just because it hurts doesn't mean you have done the wrong thing. Believe me! It's sad when relationships don't work out but you will get through it. It will just take time. Try not to text him, give yourself space. I know you have questions that you feel you need answers and you may always wonder but at the end of the day you felt you were not happy. And it's not good to be with someone and be miserable. Even if it's not all the time, it's still not right.
Thats the thing. I can't be sure on the reasons why I have ended it.
Well they are: -
Had an abortion by him and before I got pregnant I thought (note word thought meaning not 100% sure) that he was making suggestions about having a baby he would say bambino bambino to me ( this might have been only when he was drunk I can't remember) but then he also said he didn't want a baby. He says he does want more children as long as he is with right women.
Think he might have cheated. Some women who knows him and I think he knows her said that he turned up on her doorstep asking her for sex when we were together. Or it might have been when we were apart I can't remember. So again I'm unsure. Then theres another time he got a text message when we were together from the landlady of the pub he was at saying something about how he looked like he was having fun with the 2 blondes at the bar. Before he got this text I don't think he had stayed in his own bed the night before so I said have you cheated and he said no then I kept asking him and he said yes. Now he says no again. So unsure on that reason too.
Thought he was controlling but now think this is just me thinking that. Can't think of a controlling thing he did apart from ask me to make him cups of tea a lot and ask me to do things which I felt he didn't really need to ask me to do and he could have done himself. Also he said he does ask and not demand off me but then sometimes I don't feel I can say no to his 'question' and there have been a couple of occasions I have said no and he has got in a huff about it even though he says it is a question.
Then there is the hodily hodily ho thing. I thought that meant he was calling me a ***** and he says it wasn't but after I told him he didn't stop saying it.
Well they are: -
Had an abortion by him and before I got pregnant I thought (note word thought meaning not 100% sure) that he was making suggestions about having a baby he would say bambino bambino to me ( this might have been only when he was drunk I can't remember) but then he also said he didn't want a baby. He says he does want more children as long as he is with right women.
Think he might have cheated. Some women who knows him and I think he knows her said that he turned up on her doorstep asking her for sex when we were together. Or it might have been when we were apart I can't remember. So again I'm unsure. Then theres another time he got a text message when we were together from the landlady of the pub he was at saying something about how he looked like he was having fun with the 2 blondes at the bar. Before he got this text I don't think he had stayed in his own bed the night before so I said have you cheated and he said no then I kept asking him and he said yes. Now he says no again. So unsure on that reason too.
Thought he was controlling but now think this is just me thinking that. Can't think of a controlling thing he did apart from ask me to make him cups of tea a lot and ask me to do things which I felt he didn't really need to ask me to do and he could have done himself. Also he said he does ask and not demand off me but then sometimes I don't feel I can say no to his 'question' and there have been a couple of occasions I have said no and he has got in a huff about it even though he says it is a question.
Then there is the hodily hodily ho thing. I thought that meant he was calling me a ***** and he says it wasn't but after I told him he didn't stop saying it.
Plus he seems to like mentioning the word babies even though I have told him how I feel about it when people talk about babies. He talks about the baby birds in the nest and when we went to longleat he said to me 'can you see the baby giraffe, wolf, duck whatever which I think is very insensitive when I have told him what I thought but he says he doesn't mean it like that and he says he's not going to stop as he's just trying to have a natural conversation.
Plus I thought he was making fun of my wonky lip before.
Plus after abortion I don't feel he was supportive enough. He took me round to his friends house where his friends partner was pregnant and he must have known this before he took me there and if so that is really insensitive.
Plus I thought he was making fun of my wonky lip before.
Plus after abortion I don't feel he was supportive enough. He took me round to his friends house where his friends partner was pregnant and he must have known this before he took me there and if so that is really insensitive.
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Sounds a lot of verbal bullying going on here. It sounds like he is controlling you, and now you have taken control of the situation yourself so don't falter. It really doesn't sound like a happy relationship at all. My ex played little mind games on me and it makes you feel like it's you when it really isn't. Don't let him belittle you. x
youve done the right thing angel21, from what ive just read he was an insensetive knob who was playing games with you. It will hurt foir a bit but believe one day you will wake up and you will realise that your no longer thinking of him. Treat yourself, have your hair done, a girly night in etc. It will get easier xxx
But thats the thing with mind games isn't it you can't be sure if it is you or him and I'm not sure I mean I know I have a lot of issues myself and I do think I don't let myself let people know the real me and I don't communicate my feelings to people soon enough.
Its like with the girl at work always talking about babies and me being convinced she is doing it on purpose to make me feel bad and you lot are always telling me its me just thinking that.
Well what if the same goes for my ex. Its not him its just me thinking that.
Its like with the girl at work always talking about babies and me being convinced she is doing it on purpose to make me feel bad and you lot are always telling me its me just thinking that.
Well what if the same goes for my ex. Its not him its just me thinking that.
You've done the right thing, just listen to the people on here who don't know either of you and are providing an unbiased answer. In a loving relationship, a man will not make you feel the way you have listed out above. He should make you feel loved, secure and happy. He would sit down and discuss future plans, when you would both like a baby etc so you both know where you stand. Instead your ex has confused you, made you feel like you are taking things the wrong way, left you feeling insecure. Don't let him win by going back and letting him manipulate you into staying, you're better than that.
Sounds like you're well rid to me angel.
Breaking up is never easy if you've been with someone a while - even if it's to someone who has verbally or otherwise abused you. You always have doubts as to whether you've done the right thing, and it's easy, once separated, to dwell on the good times and put the bad to the back of your mind.
It will ease, you will be happy without him - you have to give yourself time. It sounds to me he belittled you, was grossly insensitive and made you feel paranoid and imagining things. I've been there, done that - now move on!
Breaking up is never easy if you've been with someone a while - even if it's to someone who has verbally or otherwise abused you. You always have doubts as to whether you've done the right thing, and it's easy, once separated, to dwell on the good times and put the bad to the back of your mind.
It will ease, you will be happy without him - you have to give yourself time. It sounds to me he belittled you, was grossly insensitive and made you feel paranoid and imagining things. I've been there, done that - now move on!
my eyes are red and I'm crying at work. When my colleagues get here I don't think saying I've got hayfever is going to trick them :(
Work gets in the way of everything when you're trying to deal with things.
But then I suppose at least its a distraction a bit - if only I could stop crying :(
I feel like maybe we should talk more but then he is never going to say oh yeah I was playing mind games with you so will I ever believe him.
Work gets in the way of everything when you're trying to deal with things.
But then I suppose at least its a distraction a bit - if only I could stop crying :(
I feel like maybe we should talk more but then he is never going to say oh yeah I was playing mind games with you so will I ever believe him.
:( then if he has done that it makes me angry and very upset to think he isn't the man I wanted him to be. I wanted him to be the one and for it to work. Thats why even though I've dumped him I feel sad.
I can't bear the thought of never seeing him again but then if he has done these things I shouldn't even be giving him the time of day and if I do give him the time of day I will never have full self respect which I need. Then again if he hasn't done these things I still want him as part of my life.
How do you deal with the thought of never seeing someone again?
I told him I loved half of him and would miss half of him.
The other half of him I am unsure about
I can't bear the thought of never seeing him again but then if he has done these things I shouldn't even be giving him the time of day and if I do give him the time of day I will never have full self respect which I need. Then again if he hasn't done these things I still want him as part of my life.
How do you deal with the thought of never seeing someone again?
I told him I loved half of him and would miss half of him.
The other half of him I am unsure about
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