Why do people cheat on their partners?

[rosesformoi]

Why not just leave them?

How can you have such little respect your wife/husband - a person you once claimed to be in love with, that you would go out and do something so immoral, without even a second thought as to how it might make them feel?

(I would especially like to hear from anybody that is or has cheated on this one).

Thanks

[sqad617]

Quite simple really in about 99% of cases it is to experience an sexual experience with somebody new.

[tigersam258]

well said Salla. I also think that every situation is different and therefore too difficult to 'pigeon-hole' reasons.

I have been with my partner for over ten years and throughout that time my love has grown rather than diminished over time as I have a greater level of respect for her now than when we were first together. Although window shopping happens on a daily basis, I have never entered the shop!

[Lynsy]

Cuz they r blittherin idiots!!! Thats y. xXx

[Bbbananas]

Strangely enough - not all affairs are about the sex.
Maybe from a men's point of view, yes. But a woman has an affair for different reasons.

[sqad617]

salla....I can only speak from the man's point of view, but perhaps this might help:

Man's love is of man's life a thing apart;
Tis a woman's whole existence.
Lord Byron

[jake-the-peg]

I assure you 4getmeknot it was a very happy home.

At least from my viewpoint. There were few fights and both of them loved us very much.

In their own way they loved each other too but it was not enough, at least not for my mother.

I have no doubt our lives were much improved for them staying together that extra time.

We all make sacrifices for our children - some of us are called upon to make greater sacrifices than others.

[Bbbananas]

LB wasn't too far off I supose!

Mad, bad & dangerous to know.... just what you want in a lover eh?

[sqad617]

salla....LOL....good morning.

[4getmenot]

thats lovely jake :-)
I have been the other woman but I did love him alot (god knows why) but I would never cheat I dont understand it. I have been with someone and fallen for others and finished with my bloke because its not fair on him. I also hate woman that dont dump their bloke until they know they are going to get the other man. If you have feeling for another you shouldnt be together

[beso]

I see Squad is pushing the sexist lines again as usual. My interpretation of a woman with such commitment to denigrating men is that she fears she is too similar to those men and by asserting her identity as a woman she can avoid facing the facts.

In my experience women are just as responsible for infidelity as men. Indeed those who don't actually perpetrate it themselves are frequently guilty of driving their husband to an affair by usng emotional withholding as a tool to manipulate him.

[beso]

Hold on maybe I got that wrong. Squad says they are male. Must have confused with someone else whom I have had dealings with in the past.

Apologies.

However I do resent those that purport to have a gender based perspective. We are all different. Please stop assigning values on the basis of gender.

[jake-the-peg]

I can tell, but relationships can be very complicated especially when there are children involved.

You simply can't apply a one-size-fits-all morality to everyone's situations based on your own experience.

[SuDFB]

Wow very interesting views...

First thing is first, we ARE all different regardless of our gender in how we cheat our reasons why etc...

What someone considers cheating someone else might not. And for many people they will do something such as online chatting and think its fine ''Im not doing anything wrong'' but maybe if it was the other way around, while reading the conversation between your partner and this online person you woudlnt like it very much huh...

My father cheated on my mum not that she knows for sure but I do as I caught him, my parents were an unhappy couple and I wished sometimes as a child that they would separate as I truly beleived that my mum would be a better parent with my father...

I personally hate any form of cheating... flirting, online crap etc... but that is me and to my luck my husband has the same views... we have made our mistakes and got through them because we cared and loved each other enought to fight...

And after many years together we are still like tenages in love... We can tell each other EVERYTHING and that is what has kept us together :)

[mydogsandme]

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone...I was always morally outragd about people having affairs. I still don't condone it but it's not always done out of a sense of excitement or whatever. Being married for 26 years I ner thought I would have an affair,even in a less than happy marriage I never looked at another man. Huderon is right about how things can happn and turn your world upside down. i always thought people were weak and lying when they said they couldn't help themselves. I am now, however splitting with my husband so it's no longer an affair but I'm not so judgemental any more.

[condom]

simple really. I love my wife but I gert bored of sex with just one woman. I like variety and I dot see why this should stop me having a familly as long as I do it with the utmost discretion. i respect my wife a lot as i am the only person she has slept with.

hope this helps

[condom]

p.s. lately I have started using working girls as it makes me feel less guilty...

[SuDFB]

Condom... ''I like variety and I dont see why this should stop me having a familly as long as I do it with the utmost discretion''

Are you serious? I truly feel for your wife and children...

''i respect my wife a lot as i am the only person she has slept with''

If you respected that you wouldnt do what you did little does she know that she aint the only one you lay with...

Affairs can do so much damage why don't you walk out and then do what you want? You can't have both things...

[Ice.Maiden]

I think rosesformoi's thread's been really interesting. It's good to see such questions answered from all perspectives. The only thing that puzzles me about those who "cheat", is that they ALL seem able to justify their actions, without seeming to give a thought to the feelings of their spouses. Women often have an inbuilt intuition that their partner's straying, so for someone to say that they're getting away with it - or using discretion - might not always be the case. Many women'd prefer to close their eyes and keep the family together - or to be the one who keeps the ring on her finger - but surely the innocent party must be very hurt - or WOULD be, if they ever found out? Also, from the point of view of those who DO cheat, could they ever trust the object of their desire if they were to get together? I also think there's a world of difference between having a friend of the opposite sex that you can have a laugh with, and spending hours on online flirting, because that IS cheating in a way. You're cheating the partner at home out of giving THEM the time instead. This is just a personal observation. All situations are different anyway, and this thread illustrates it. It's been a good read.

[sqad617]

Sud:

"Affairs can do so much damage why don't you walk out and then do what you want? You can't have both things..."

Yes he can.....mistresses are accepted in many European countries..e.g France, Greece and Italy...accepted by wives and mistresses
In the UK it goes on, but covert.

Affairs can be damaging but goes on to a greater extent than we admit to.

Who would have thougtht that John Major (Mr. Greyman) would have had a mistress?

It is dangerous to use the word "never" in this world.
A

[terambulan]

Cheating can have a very detrimental affect on children. Many kids blame themselves when parents break up. The breaks harm the kids future relationships.

Is it worth harming your kids for 'a bit of the other'.