Shouting boyfriend

[yellowduck]

Do you let your boyfriend shout at you? Generally speaking i don't like confrontation, I never fall out with my friends but with your boyfriend it's different i think. Because they're so close to you i think it's important to say if things aren't going quite right. But i never shout. He does. And every time he does i feel like crying not because im abnormally sensitive but because, being so close to him, I'm essentially very vulnerable and him not understanding hurts me more than anyone else not understanding him. We don't argue very much but whenever we do it always ends up with me being primarily upset because he's shouting than because of the issue itself. I've told him and he says he can't help it, he just gets frustrated. Am i being unreasonable asking him not to shout? Tell me honestly xxx

[hotpink]

no your not being unreasonable, but we all act in very different ways. i mean shouting is just his way of getting his point across (which works). on the other end of the scale my husband very rarely wants to talk about big issues, which is very frustrating. if he isn't acting violent towards you, then i would just stick with it. (if it was me). as you say, your together a lot and things do build up. he may hate the fact that you cry after an argument, because it makes him feel bad. if everything else is ok in the relationship, then carry on the way you are. you're obviously together because you love each other, but we all argue. (everyones going to have a go at me now i bet....)

[Psychick]

Nope, I agree with you hotpink!
yellowduck, do you ever feel threatened by his shouting? That is the only time I would day ok you two need to sort something out because living in the fear of thinking he may get violent is not good. Although from what you have said, this doesnt seem to be an issue.
One of the important things is, is that the two of you are able to about it............have you tried asking him to not shout and talk to you calmly so the both of you can sort whatever argument youre having at the time out without him getting so frustrated and you getting so upset? Easier said than done, I know, but its worth a try. If he can just take that split second to stop and think.......
I will admit that I too shout, again through frustration. But I can feel myself boiling up before I start shouting so I step away for a few minutes to calm down, then go back to discuss the issue calmly and rationally.
If he isnt able to do this, maybe you can say to him.........Im going to go to another room for 5 minutes because this is upsetting me too much, then I will be back to talk to you.

Good luck to you both :)

[society]

Ask if your boyfriend if he is the son of a preacher man, or ask him if he used to be a preacher. Maybe he is still a preacher and thinks he is still in the church congregation when talking to you.

Why would you want to stay with a bully? Is that how less a person you think of yourself? Can you imagine how he will speak to your kid(s) if you all have any? I feel sorry for you.

[4getmenot]

No you are not, there is a way to get a point across if he is upset at something you have done without shouting

[xhxmxsx]

i personally dont think there's any reason for him to shout, surely he can talk to you and put his point across, i find shouting very immature