Dating Advice

[mizfiesta]

I met a guy recently on a dating website - he seems like a decent chap. We met for the first time last weekend - we just met up briefly on the Saturday evening for a soft drink to see if we liked each other.

He then asked me out for a meal on the Wednesday. The meal went well enough. He text me when I got home to say he had nice time and asked if he could see me again to which I replied I'd be happy to. He was having his daughter to stay from Saturday (yesterday) to Tuesday so I said I would leave it up to him on the when/where.

Anyway I've not heard anything back from him since Wednesday night. It's now Sunday. I thought he would've dropped me a text or something by now? I haven't text him as I would rather put the ball in his court. I would guess he's not that fussed about me if he's not dropped me a text over the weekend, even just to say hi. What do you think?

[jim360]

The important thing is to ensure that you feel comfortable with whatever happens. So long as that's true then you've made the right decision, whatever that turns out to be.

[mizfiesta]

We've arranged a date for next Wednesday evening so it'll be next week before I update.

[mizfiesta]

Thanks Jim.

[murraymints]

Don't bottle out mind ! We all want to know what happens ! Bridget Jones has nuffink on you ! Lol

[trt]

How long did you know him on the dating site and is he local to you?

[mizfiesta]

Lol @murraymints :) I'll be back next week to give you the next chapter.

[Mojo-Jo-Jo]

I think you're kind of punishing him for not responding to you quickly enough.
I think that you let the likes of Sqad niggle at your brain and I think he revels in that.
I think you're giving him more reason to let him think that you are not interested in him than he is in you. He told you he'd be offline for a week after all.
I think dating games are pointless and if I feel I'm being tested that way, I run a mile.
If you like him, go for it.

[mizfiesta]

Thanks Mojo. Hopefully it will all go well next week.

[Mojo-Jo-Jo]

I hope so Miz :)
Been with my online for 3 years now and we're still going strong.
BTW Sqad, he turned down the "easy" option because I was more interesting long-term.

[mizfiesta]

Hi all, just a wee update on my recent date. We met up on Wednesday night for a pub meal. We chatted for a couple of hours and all was well. At the end of the night we parted having a quick peck on the lips before going our separate ways to collect our cars.

We didn't make hard and fast plans to meet up again but he did text me when I got home to say he had a nice evening etc.

I hadn't bothered logging on to the dating site since then as I find it exhausting just dealing with one bloke! I was curious as to whether he had been online mind you. Tonight my nose got the better of me and I had unread mail from other members to read so I logged on and guess what? He was online. Is he hedging his bets? Hanging around the watering hole waiting for someone else to catch his eye?

Maybe I'm old fashioned only 'dating' one person at at time? The online dating malarkey seems to have different protocols! I think it's like game playing and seems quite shallow to me - I'm not sure if I'm cut out for this. Advice would be much appreciated.

[mizfiesta]

...any of you guys around?

[boxtops]

Hi Miz - I'm seeing this quite differently from you. Why shouldn't he be on the site, when you appear to be giving him a clear message that you are not particularly bothered? You've been quite standoffish - I think if I were him, I'd be looking at my options too!

[mizfiesta]

Hi Boxtops, thanks for your reply. So you think I've been standoffish? Maybe playing it TOO cool? Trying to get a balance is difficult :(

[ummmm]

I think you're playing it way tooooo cool if you're interested in him.

You're playing a game and if you carry on with the same attitude you'll be the loser.

[pixie373]

As i said before, i would play games, but he seems to be too, being "out of contact" for a week, etc. If you want to take things further, contact him and arrange to meet up. Although you have met up, it doesn't sound as though you're"dating" so it's fine for him (or you) to still be on the site. I think you need to decide if you're interested or not and be clear about it. If you both "play it cool", you'll never get anywhere.

[pixie373]

...wouldn't play games. Sorry! It really is quite straightforward.

[Sqad]

He has put you "on the bench" as if there is an injury to a main player, then you will be called up.

Move onto another team where you will be in the team and maybe the "main player."

[Zacs-Master]

Has it crossed your mind he might have been on the dating site for exactly the same reason as you? i.e. check to see if you were fishing around?

[mizfiesta]

Pixie, Sqad and Zacs, all good points. I think maybe Sqad is on the ball - I'm a reserve at best I think. We've usually met up on a Wednesday but I don't hear from him again till the following Tuesday.

Also he is free on a Friday night yet doesn't ever suggest meeting up on that night - he just usually suggests the Wednesday (he's got his kid from Sat till Sun) which I find a bit strange. Maybe he's saving a Friday for a sure thing.

Zacs there's been days on end where I've not logged into the site so if he's logging on he bound to know I'm not regularly on it. It could be coincidence, but when I log in he always shows up as being 'online today' - and the site is usually accurate. I really don't know what to do. I don't want to play games like Pixie mentioned.

[Zacs-Master]

Simple. Move on.