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Too shy to date

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jrobinson200 | 11:23 Sun 16th Oct 2011 | Relationships & Dating
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Basically, i was in a 9 year realtionship which i came out of by choice almost 2 years ago. Since then friends have been my main priority although i did have a year long casual relationship with a guy. I did fall in love and pretty much got my heart broken but i dont think this is an issue for me anymore. I absolutely love going out and socialising, im not happy unless i do so at least 3 times a week. I have met guys along the way but never been on 'dates'. the moment someone asks to take me out i come up with all the excuses i can!! I cant stand the thought of going on an official date, even just for a drink, a few guys i like the look of have asked to take me out and i just keep saying no, WHY?! i want to go meet them, i want some male company, i ust get so scared at the thought of being somewhere with that pressure, what the hell do you talk about?!
am i just not ready to date and should carry on as i am or shoud i force myself to go on one!


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Invite them to come out with you and your mates...
Question Author
i think that but theres not the opportunity everytime.
It doesn't have to be an official date - meeting someone for a drink in the pub isn't pressured, just do that, meet in a public place, especially if you have other friends around.
Well if you go out 3 times a week I'm sure you could manage it :-)

I've only ever been on 1 official date in my life...
Question Author
yes but if im with the girls i dont particularly wana ask a guy to come along, think im just guna go for it on tuesday, hes suggested meeting in the pub for a drink....cant be that bad can it...
No it can't, it's a public place. Just don't think of it as a big deal, think of it as going out with a mate, this one happens to be a bloke.
Never as bad as you imagine...

Loads of men would be happy to be out with a group of girls..
Suggest you meet up for an hour or two but make it clear you are going elsewhere at a specified time - meeting friends, need an early night for work, babysitting for a mate, whatever.
If you are still enjoying yourself you can 'make a phone call' and cancel prior arrangement.
Or have one of those apps on your phone that ring you at a specified time so you can make excuses and leave if you need to.

A date is merely dipping your toe in. You haven't agreed to go skinny dipping.
Iknow the feeling .i get more comfort with a pint of beer these yourself that's the best you can do go for it you may be p;easantly surprised
Doesn't hurt to take a deep breath and accept an offer. It's hardly a lifetime commitment. No, I never know what one talks about either. It handy if the one you're with finds it easy to chat. But if things don't come reasonably easy you don't have to go on a second date with the same person. You try, either enjoy the night and plan for a repeat, or shrug and move on to the next offer.
Question Author
Yeah thanks guys, I bit the bullet and am meeting him tonight! I'm so scared! Going for a few drinks, he suggested a meal but that's way too formal for me! Its not the fear of commitment its the one on one time with a virtual stranger that scares me! Going to have to think of some things to say, glass of wine before I go! X
Good luck....let us know how it goes :-)

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