Would you have a problem...

[missjef]

if one of your children was gay? i myself would not have any problem whatsoever, in this day & age i don't see why anyone would unless they were very religious i suppose.
i ask this question after reading a question on 'relationship's & dating' and being truly shocked by the attitude of the poster.
i also have just watched 'This morning' where a woman has been in tears on the phone saying that she feels as though she has been punished because her son is gay.
I can understand that it may come as a shock, but to feel as though you are being punished, i think is wrong.
what are your thoughts on this?

[daffy654]

I definitely had my suspicions about my stepson,so did my daughters.My partner had no idea at all which is why he was so shocked.He loves his son unconditionally though so it has never been an issue in the way we treat him.

[jake-the-peg]

As long as he doesn't come home sit me down and say "Dad I have to tell you this....I'm a Tory"

I'll be fine

[funnygirl]

I would not be shocked. There is nothing to be shocked about. We live in modern times and bringing religion into it is just stupid.
Too many people live their lives around religion and I cannot see the point of it.

[wiggal]

My sister came out as gay about 6 years ago, yes my mum was shocked as she had been with a fella for 5 years!
I was not shocked at all, as new before she told me!
But she now has a gorgeous lovely 'wife', they had their civil ceremony on 7.7.07 and it was so beautiful! My sister in law, well we dont even count the in law bit, she is just like another big sister to me!

Could never imagine their being someone better & well suited to my sister then her missus!

[Octavius]

funnygirl - who bought religion into the discussion (apart from you)?

[jno]

I think I'd feel a little sad... life is still that bit tougher for gay people, in spite of all the advances over the last 30 years, and nobody likes the thought of their children's lives being any tougher than necessary. So in a purely social sense it'd be like some sort of handicap; you'd be forever hoping and praying they didn't attract abuse. But in a personal sense, no, I wouldn't be shocked or upset; you love your children whatever. (At least, I do.)

[Doc Spock]

Read the first paragraph of the question Oct.

[Doc Spock]

This is a silly question really. All parents love their children and stand by them ( even if they are killers or rapists).

You do not, however , have to like your kids.

[Pippa68]

And luckily you don't have to like your parents either :o)

[Goodsoulette]

I have two boys and I just wouldn't care. I let them know all the time that I am there for them no matter what, apart from my family the only people I let look after them are a couple that consist of 2 men, so my eldest who is 6 already has very strong opinions on what is not ok in describing a gay couple.

I don't think I would act shocked, Id ask them/him if they needed to talk about it but if not that would be the end of it, nothing more said. I would try and guide my son into just being who he is and labeling himself by his sexuality. I really think its about time where sexuality shouldn't be an issue and no presumptions should be made that a person is heterosexual. I hear all to often, they lied about their sexuality, when in fact they haven't, they just haven't disclosed their sexual preference to that person.

I wouldn't have any interest in what my sons ever did in the bedroom (or where ever) with anyone, male or female. So as long as the are happy and feel loved and respected thats where my concerns stop.

[Pippa68]

That is exactly how I feel, Goodie.

I have always wondered why a parent would be disgusted at their son/daughter's sexuality. After all, if they were straight you wouldn't be asking them all the gory details about what they do in the bedroom would you? I wouldn't even be thinking about it!

I can almost understand the grandchildren aspect, however I have always thought that to be a gift, not a right..for all I know my heterosexual children might decide not to have children ~ or be unable to have them.

I can also understand the concern regarding homophobia. However I am always concerned about my teens being attacked in the street ~ sexuality may not even come into the equation, reading what goes on nowadays :o(

[Octavius]

Oh I see now (thanks Doc)

[sleepyj]

i would be upset but would always stand by them what ever ....if they never talk really gay i would be even better with it

[6758]

I read the original question missjef was talking about and was also pretty shocked by this particular parents attitude.........

As most others have said, its quite hard to know how you would react, but living in a smallish town where it is slightly harder for people to 'come out',I think I would feel proud of my kids for having the confidence and self belief to go with what they feel is right for them.

You hear of heart breaking stories where people try to hide their true feelings, go on to have families with people they will never truly love, only to split up in later years and break their kids and other family members hearts in the process...

[funnygirl]

Octavius, it was fleetingly in the question.
But seriously, people are saying "in the bible it is man & woman" etc
What I say is the bible is a load of cr*p!

[Dave G]

The only problem I see with the gay comunity is the flamboyant lifestyle that they show to the world they have to be seen as different when the only difference is thier sleeping arrangements so why do they have to be so outrageous in thier public behavoiur

[daffy654]

Not all gay people are flamboyant in their behaviour,you would probably be surprised how discreet(sp?) most of them are. My stepson has hardly told anybody and unless you knew him well you would have no idea he was gay.Even his dad hadn't guessed.lol

[Octavius]

funnygirl � I wasn�t criticising you, I hadn�t read the Q properly. What you are referring to is the homophobes interpretation of what they think is written in the Bible. I would say that they are full of parochial crap.

[rabbitygirl]

I always knew it wouldn't be a problem for me and when it happened it wasn't a shock or a problem. Seeing he was troubled I actually asked my son if he was - I could tell and took a gamble. His relief at his forced coming out was amazing. I just wish he would just get on with being gay. He lives alone now we have moved and left both of our sons 'down south'. I am more concerned that he is alone than gay! We all need someone special.

Hubby doesn't know - the shock would probably kill him. Terrible homophobe. We have agreed not to tell him and he is blissful in his ignorance - and before anyone replies - he isn't pretending not to know, he really doesn't. Had a close call last week. Sons old bed is currently in our refurb property. It was moved by hubby to make way for the electrician and he came downstairs calling 'guess what I've just found in the drawer under the bed?' My heart was nearly off the hook but thankfully it wasn't one of sons collection of gay mags!!!

PS His grannie knows too. We have never spoken about it but son says she simply asked him one day 'Do you think you will ever marry and have kids?' He answered yes but she's nobody's fool.

[jackthehat]

((((((((((((((((BIG HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))

To you all except Dave G and (no surprise here !!!) Doc.

If anything should (God forbid) happen to my own parents, I'd be happy to be adopted by each and every one of you..........:o)