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Apologies - Snot

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number8 | 16:34 Thu 01st Apr 2004 | Body & Soul
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I have a cold, and therefore being a man I am obviously on death's door, but would like to know (this is a serious question) where does snot come from? I am blowing my nose every 30 seconds or so and producing what feels like gallons of the stuff. How can I possibly produce so much?
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You dont want to know
but in case you do- I warned you What is coming out of your nose is not normal bogey. It is a mixture of bogey, dead and dying infected cells, virus particles, various immune cells and lots of water. The virus kills cells in your nose by breeding inside them and exploding out of them like alien out of John Hurt. The immune cells try to mop up the virus, and also kill off infected cells. All of this is washed out of your nose by fluid leached from your blood plasma in an attempt to get rid of it.
In short, it is mucus produced in your nose, and is meant to wash out impurities. When your nose is infected, it produces more mucus, working overtime as it were.
The socially responsible thing to do is to sniff it up! The virus can't survive in your stomach (which is where it will end up if you sniff the mucus up), whereas if you blow your nose you are likely to spread the virus around in the air. Also, taking your handkerchief out will spread the virus round too. Having said that it would be impossibly gross to sniff it all up , and I always reckon if I'm suffering, then why shouldn't everyone else?
When I was about 6yrs or so I hit upon this remedy for the stuffed up nasal can't breath properly problem when in bed. Being male it is obvous when you have a cold and you are at death's door you go to bed!

Anyway, you first lie with your head on, say, the left side. After a bit the right side clears up a bit and breath goes through that nostril. Ok. so now swap sides and wait until you feel the load of goo flow towards the good nostril and away from the bunged up one. Now, and here's the trick, at this point lie with back of head on pillow, nose up. Hey presto, within minutes both nostrils are clear for breathing and goo drains down back of throat. You hardly notice it and peace at last.
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Thanks all - most enlightening. My "man flu" is getting worse and is beginning to wind up the wife - so it's not all bad! "........I bet you're well enough to play rugby at the weekend" etc etc etc
Hot Toddies for you mate.... maybe six of seven.... Get Well Soooon.

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