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Dating help needed!

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nicnic | 10:08 Tue 13th Feb 2007 | Body & Soul
34 Answers
Just wondering if anyone can help me here. I've started doing the internet dating thing and met someone last week. We got on really well and all the signs were great, he even asked to see me again at the end of the night.

However, I think I've ruined things. I'm a naturally friendly person always texting and wanting to chat online. I think this time it's backfired though and he's decided I'm being too clingy or thats what I think. He hasn't said it, but has now decided that he's too busy on Wednesday when were going to meet. I've emailed to explain myself but no reply as of yet. I really like this person and I don't want to have messed everything up.

Any ideas of what I can do to salvage things, or do you think I've just messed up. I'm not being clingy at all, just being nice and just the way I am. I hate to have to think I have to change my ways just to attract a partner or friend.


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Sasha - you've got me thinking 10 is a lot now, and that I'm some sort of fruitloop :) I would quite happily exchange 10 little soundbytes on e-mail (not essays), just a back and forth dialogue after a first date, no problem.
If he's said you're being too intense but after that has hinted that he's up for doing something next week then it sounds like he's still interested. Jsut back off for a bit, go and see him next week and act like everything is fine - that you haven't noticed the change in pace. Keep us informed and lots of luck x
Supernick - I don't think you're a fruitloop, but personally speaking, I like a guy who can 'play the game' - someone who waits a little while before texting me after a first date etc (not to be confused with someone who messes you around and is generally a player)... I find it builds up the anticipation better than if it falls into your lap too quicky. Does that make sense?
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Makes perfect sense, but it's not for me. If a girl keeps me hanging on and doesn't reply for a couple of days, she'll probably be given the heave ho!
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Supernick - I wouldn't have a problem with what you're doing at all. You're just you and I'm sure the 'right' girl would really appreciate that contact.

Sasha13 - Yeah, thats what I'm going to do. I just said sorry for seeming intense and that he could give me a bell when/if he wanted to do something. I'll just act like everything is fine if I can.

In the meantime just maybe go and find some more people on the site to flirt with, have to keep my options open I suppose. I'll try and be less obvious this time. I think I'm still a little bit raw after my recent breakup and need to chill out a bit.
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Im 38......
He was obviously not the one for you. Your niceness might be someone else's clingy. I would move on. Any attempt at explanation will come across as desperate and even more clingy causing the person to run faster. You dont have to change yourself, just start out slow. We all hide our little imperfections and skeletons in the closet when we first meet someone new and as time goes on you get to know each other better. If you know your niceness can sometimes come across as clingy or desperate then hold back a little until you know each other better and can feel more comfortable being the real bubble nice you. The right one will pick up on this, dont worry.
So, what's the current sitch nicnic??
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Well, me and the guy chatted on Saturday online (despite him being ill). To be honest things got a bit, hmm, how do I explain this, passionate. I do think he is still interested as he said he'd sort out a date this week. But whatever he has got has turned into fully blown flu and he can't make it. I've asked him to get in touch when he is better, am not chasing him.

I have a date with someone different on Thursday, which could be good. However, to complicate things, my idiot of an ex has turned up like a bad penny...
God, isn't that always the way?? Please be careful with the new guy - again, something I've learned from experience is that if a bloke makes excuses about not being able to make two dates, he's not that interested. Good that you're going on a date with another new guy - wish I could meet that many blokes! Is the ex saying he wants you back?
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I will be careful. But he genuinely isn't well, not getting my hopes up though, if he wants me he knows where to find me!

thanks for the advice anyways, I might have a third date lined up too, decided to be bold and ask another guy if he'd like to see me in person.

And alas, the ex does not want me back but has simply arrived back in my life and stirred up some old feelings. its very complicated!
Bless - well, whatever you do good luck - and where on earth are you finding all these blokes?!

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