Loneliness

[Karmlady]

Been struggling with loneliness since broke up with bf couple of years ago and also especially over this Christmas period with 4 days off work but being ill so not seeing my mum on xmas day as planned. Be glad to go back to work tomorrow.
I need to find a way to make some friends but it's so hard. I'm 35, no children so can't meet people that way and hate all this communication via Internet. I yearn for real connections and real company, perhaps walk or drink in the pub.

[rowanwitch]

The old ways are sometimes the best... Join a club or interest group where you will meet people with whom you will have something in common. Maybe a language class, wine appreciation or an art class. It's hard sometimes to walk into a room full of strangers but it was a first time for them once. The other option is a church if you believe in god,

[gness]

As Rowan says, Karm, you need to join something. I'm much older than you. When my husband died I joined an over fifties adventure club. I met new people and went on many adventures!
Do find something to join or maybe carefully advertise for a walking companion. I've seen that done.
It is hard to begin but you never know where it could lead. x

[MissTerious2]

Do you live in an area that has its own Internet site. I have several friends I have met through shared interests and who live near. I know it involves the interest initially, but it can have good results.

[Karmlady]

I had thought about those options Rowan or evening class but I couldnt think of anything I would want to do. Thought of walking group but last time I joined walking group it was quite nerdy.

I was just gonna reply and say I can't think of any clubs but stopped for a second googled walking groups in my area thinking there won't be anything and there are groups.

Thanks for posting. Think you just got me a step closer to meeting people.

[ladybirder]

Pity it sounds as if you work full time or you could get a lovely dog Karmlady. Nearly everyone talks to you when you're walking your dog in the park. Well they do around B&H, we're the doggiest place in Britain apparently!

[ubasses]

https://nextdoor.co.uk/
The above is a site that covers the whole country but is broken down into neighbourhoods, it will make it easier for you to find local groups with similar interests.

[Karmlady]

Soeey to hear about your husband gness. Thats v brave of u to join an adventure group.

I love walking but I think because me and ex used to do lovely walks together I didn't want to think of walking with anyone else but perhaps this step today of posting on here and looking it up means I might be ready to try that soon, maybe in the new year and thats progress.

I just hope they are not all nerdy people.

[ladybirder]

I've just remembered about a male friend of mine who offered to walk dogs at a Dog Rescue. He loved it and a few of the walkers would then go to the local pub for a drink before going home. He has now been very happily married to one of them for many years:-)

[Karmlady]

Haha ladybirder. Yes I do work full time. I do go for walks by myself and say hi to people pit and about but I need a bit more than that and unless I want to be lonely forever or single forever I need to take action. Nothing changes by doing the same things.

[Khandro]

As a single woman, I don't think you would meet the 'right' kind of man in a pub.
I know of someone in a similar situation, though divorced.
With great trepidation she used one of the many online introduction agencies, eventually finding someone with whom she could relate & he her too.
It has been an enormous success & they have been happy together now for a number of years. I have met him & think him ideal for her.
They haven't married & don't live together, which seems to suit them both for the present.

[Karmlady]

Thanks ubasses. I rejoined that site yesterday. Had been on previously but got nervous of people knowing about you and where u live etc. I thought I might find something on there too but it seems to be people looking for lost cats or asking for handymen recommendations mainly. Gotta be careful on there too, guess its how u use the site safely but I stupidly allowed a kind man to come and do a small job in my house and when he turned up I felt really on edge and that I had put myself in danger. Decided to come off the site. Really that was me not being sensible though but I was overwhelmed with the 'kind neighbourly vibe' on there which u gotta be careful of.

[Karmlady]

Thats a nice story ladybirder. I'm a bit nervous of some dogs.

[Karmlady]

Thats encouraging to read khandro. I have a feeling ill have to get on the online dating at some point then. It's so much effort and I just feel there won't be anyone good on there but perhaps that's me knocking it before I've tried.

[Karmlady]

Thats encouraging to read khandro. I have a feeling i'll have to get on the online dating at some point then. It's so much effort and I just feel there won't be anyone good on there but perhaps that's me knocking it before I've tried.

Thanks MissTerious. I will see if I can find a local website.

[MissTerious2]

Nice to meet you Karmlady. Welcome. Lots of nice people on here. Always willing to have a chat and help. Chatterbank is a good category for some fun or just what it says 'Chatting'. You will soon get to know us.

[gness]

Be careful of meeting anyone online...especially AB. You could end up marrying him and moving to the wild west of Ireland and having fun..... ;-)

[MissTerious2]

Quite a few pairings came about on AB.

Gness is our resident Leprechaun! Naughty, with a wicked sense of humour.

[gness]

My sense of humour is sometimes misunderstood here but hey...MissT and a good few others join in. :-)

[Karmlady]

Thanks for the welcome. I was here in 2008 but only just come back. I don't know if anyone is around from back in those days.

[ladybirder]

A son of mine, divorced about 4 years ago, decided to join a couple of on-line agencies, eventually. Quickly learnt that the decent ones you pay for access. Met several nice ladies and enjoyed meals out etc but nothing really special. A couple of months ago a woman contacted him after seeing his profile which was a first as it was usually the other way round. She said we have so much in common, you were a soldier, I was a soldier, we both served in NI and Germany, I have a daughter named A and so do you etc etc etc. Every thing he liked she liked and now they are madly in love and meeting each other's families. My turn delayed until I'm better. They both have their own lovely homes and won't move in together just stay over at each others place sometimes etc.
I am so pleased for him/them. He said he never thought he would be so happy;-))