Donate SIGN UP

Finally Bit The Bullet And Got Dd On The Waiting G List For Councilling

Avatar Image
cassa333 | 11:25 Wed 01st Nov 2017 | Body & Soul
23 Answers
She's not happy about it and feels that she will further be viewed as 'not normal'. Although she admits most of her 'friends' think she is odd and specifically exclude her from their group activities anyway.

I say friends quite lightly. She stands next to them in the hope one of them will talk to her.

Having spoken to DS he now tells me he has often found her hiding in a secluded area at schools old crying and having a panic because she can't cope with her 'friends having arguments between themselves.

I wish It could help her more but nothing I say seems to get through.

Hopefully she will get better with the help of councilling.
Gravatar

Answers

1 to 20 of 23rss feed

1 2 Next Last

Best Answer

No best answer has yet been selected by cassa333. Once a best answer has been selected, it will be shown here.

For more on marking an answer as the "Best Answer", please visit our FAQ.
I don't know the back story to this.

Do you know how long the waiting list is for counselling?
Question Author
There S an eight week wait but they give them a call every week to let them get to know them beforehand.

She is a stress bunny. We don't tell her plans now as any deviation willset her off on the screaming ab-dabs.

Her friends are not really her friends she is just a hangeron. They only have to disagree about something and she goes off n her own to fret.

She wants to melt Into the background and not be noticed but like everyone wants friends and to be part of a group and simply can't marry the two up.

She doesn't like to be looked at and judged (it isn't something we all do so can't be helped) and although can use humour as much as her twin brother, the very second she feels it is directed at her she has a melt down.

She is in a cycle and doesn't know how to get out of it.
Question Author
She's nearly 14
Oh my goodness , how worrying for you. Incidentally, what does DD and DS mean?
daughter, son, Sam?
Question Author
It makes my heart break to see her so unhappy.

She is beautiful, highly intelligent, caring, adventurous and thoughtful. She worries about other people and what they are doing but her anxiety is such that she can't cope with things out of kilter.

She hates shopping and won't go and shop for even basics (very frustrating as I like to shop lol). She doesn't want any clothes that her peers are wearing because it would make her noticeable and chooses the most dog awful styles and colours. Not to be 'individual' and 'unique'. She has a squewd view of not being noticed. But her choices mark her out as different from her peers and makes it worse for her.

I want to fold my arms around her and help her but at the moment I can't get through.

I sincerely hope councilling will help her.
Is she autistic?
Is it a stage she's going through like be a goth or an emo?
Question Author
No I don't think she is autistic. I have worked with autistic kids and adult and a nephew is on the spectrum and she is not a bit like them.

She is just so over anxious that any change that she would not benefit from will set her off. TBH I think she does play on it a bit now as sometimes, when I know she is not that fussed she smirks if she thinks I can't see her.

She has always been the screamy one. We did joke about changing her middle name from Katheryn to screamy girl lol she has just continued in the same vein and got, well not worse but differently screamy in puberty.

Her choice of clothes are not in any way repeating a 'look'. That would make her part of a group and she wants, but doesn't want to be part of a group so no goth clothes, no girly clothes, no dress up or dress down clothes. Just clothes she thinks will make her less noticeable. Boys shoes, tops and trousers. And before anyone asks no She doesn't want to be a boy or transgender. She simply doesn't want to be like the other girls. BUT BUT BUT she so desperately wants to be part of it with them.
Cassa I am sorry to hear that and I wasn't trying to be disrespectful with my response.
I hope this helps her and you get to the bottom of it x
Has your daughter always had " different " behaviour? Any contact with doctors in the past?
Cassa - the autistic spectrum is very large.
Question Author
We may at some point get her tested for Autism but tbh it doesn't fit with her behaviour.

Unless she can come to terms with the world not revolving round her at every moment in time she will be one very unhappy bunny.

There are people in this world that are just nervous types and I think she is one of them. Some of it is about getting her own way and playing on the fact we tread on egg shells just to keep the peace.

For instance this evening she made the orange layer of the rainbow cake we are making for their cousins Christening on Sunday.

DS had to empty the dish washer beforehand and she filled it up. It did its business and so she had to empty it and he refil it. But because there appeared to be more for her to take out and less for him to fill she had a toot about it. (Reality is they were about evenly matched).

Perceived injustice is a major event.
Maybe try not treading on egg shells.

Are you going to get to talk to the counsellor too?
Question Author
I stamp all over the egg shells more often than not. Trying to keep the peace is reserved for when we are out.

Mind you I was very restrained in Lidle a couple of weeks ago. We needed some (empty) veg boxes to stash some stuff in so we went in and got a couple of bits and pieces as you do and I gave her a couple of boxes to take to the car. She had a melt down because we hadn't paid for them. I pointed, the woman in front, the woman two rows along pointed out, one of the staff pointed out, the checkout man pointed out it was fine and you can just take the boxes. No that wasn't good enough for her. I got a lot of curious looks as if to say What The Funicular??? I just shrugged and said I know.

I don't think the councillor is concerned in what I have to say. They haven't asked or been interested in the slightest. They focus on the child. It was touch and go if The you would take her referral because it was me that asked and not her!!!
My son was referred by the GP (different reasons) and the first meeting they spoke to us as a family. Reassured him that his sessions are completely confidential and we will only know what he chooses to tell us. From then on it was just him.

It worked wonders in a matter of weeks so stay hopeful.
Question Author
I do hope it works. Not only for family peace but for her. I don't want her to be unhappy and anxious all the time.

This wasn't a referral from the Dr as such but we did go to see him and he gave us the details for them. 'Signposting' I think it's called. Tat way they don't have to pay out of their budget.
Hope it helps casssa fingers crossed
It was a charity the GP referred us to.

We didn't actually see the GP. I phoned the surgery, spoke to the receptionist, the GP phoned me for a chat and within the hour he'd arranged an appointment for the following weekend.

http://thelowdown.info/

Might be an idea to give them an email and see if they have anything or know of anything similar in your area.
Question Author
Our 'referral' was to a charity as well. Off the Record.

Eight week wait but we have had this problem in one form or another for 13 years so a bit of a wait is achievable lol

1 to 20 of 23rss feed

1 2 Next Last

Do you know the answer?

Finally Bit The Bullet And Got Dd On The Waiting G List For Councilling

Answer Question >>

Related Questions

Sorry, we can't find any related questions. Try using the search bar at the top of the page to search for some keywords, or choose a topic and submit your own question.