Empty Nest And Feel Lonely

[Budlet]

Well not quite but will be in September. I am really struggling to start a different life. I am married but my husband seems to prefer going to motorbike rallys and drinking with his mates in the pub then having spontaneous weekends away with me. I don't have many friends as the few women I knew were the mums of my chidrens friends who have been friends with each other for years and are quite a closed unit. I feel very lonely and would love to make some new friends but don't know where to start. Any help and advice (or a night out) would be great.

[murraymints]

Budlet...Where do you live ?

[Maydup]

have you thought about volunteering? ou might make a few friends, but mor importantly, there will be organisations who could really do with a hand. Pop your postcode in here and see if anything takes your fancy.

(Put in a reasonable distance from home and Leave all other boxes blank to see all options in your area)

[Maydup]

http://www.do-it.org.uk/

[ferlew]

Check out interests at your library, google any craft interests you have.

[coccinelle]

It might be a good start to ask why your husband prefers rallys and going out with his mates. it might just be the fact he's felt out of it over the past few years. Now is the time to take up a new hobby together; do you like walking and getting out in the fresh air? you might think of doing geocaching.... do you like films? you might think of going to the cinema every week (set a night) do you like dancing? it might be a time to take up some rockn'roll or whatever.... However, if you're really looking for female friends you might find them at the aquagym clubs, or activitites like painting on silk etc maybe book clubs and if you are church orientated they're always looking for volunteers to clean out these places every week and it'll get you in touch with a lot of very nice people.

[DTCwordfan]

Start with where you are - and then we can see ré some ideas, Budlet.....

generically, some volunteer work (given your interests) can really help...what are your interests?

[murraymints]

When I first moved to London and before I went back to work didn't know anyone.hubby out all day...so I became a hospital visitor...I just turned up and asked if I could help and as it turned out there were a few elderly Scottish patients that I could blether to...they enjoyed my visits...that led to talking papers and books which in turn led to my helping with adult literacy ...I made loads of friends...and it was worthwhile too....

[Budlet]

Thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to reply. I live near Bishops Stortford. I love reading and enjoy tudor history and visiting stately homes. I looked into volunteering with English Heritage or the National Trust but there isn't anything available in the area at the moment. I like going to the theatre and cinema but usually end up going on my own.

[DaisyNonna]

Budlet, I also go to the cinema and theatre alone. Would be lovely to discuss the performance with someone.

[Maydup]

Is Kentwell within travelling distance of you? They need tudor loving volunteers!

http://www.kentwell.co.uk/jobs

[granny grump]

Hi budlet - do you work - could you meet up with colleagues - or perhaps look at meeting up with school friends - does your old school have reunions - perhaps meet oh half way - set aside one weekend a month for you both to walk go away - out for a meal - you will feel down when the 'fledglings fly' but this is a new chapter - perhaps it is time to talk if you can - good luck - Ihate to think of you lonely.

[Maydup]

Or maybe this

http://www.rhodesbishopsstortford.org.uk/about-us/volunteers/

[DTCwordfan]

Gness isn't too far from you and she loves going to the theatre - and I am sure would love to discuss theatre with you under Arts and who knows......

[Psybbo]

DTC, is that wise? you know her history

[DTCwordfan]

Ooops - what are the hospitals like around Stortford; you are right. Budlet - we are joking - or are we? Our gness, we love her, but she is a physical trouble magnet and maybe psychologically, lol.

[237SJ]

You could check out walking groups in your area. Not all Ramblers are over 70 :-) there are offshoots for younger people. I have also heard about a website called meetup.com I think it`s fairly London centric but they might have something near you.

[grasscarp]

I joined a dance class and am learning a foreign language. So go out two nights a week. It is all about what you want to do with your life and mixing with like minded people. I also work full time so have lots of friends through that. Equally I have grown up children and husband who I do not have any social outings with any more for various reasons.

[Caran]

What about the U3A, they have lots of activities, we have three classification of walks, easy, medium and tough, lunch clubs, skittles with lunch, book club, play reading etc. well worth investigating. It changed our lives when we moved here, we made lots of friends so worth a look.

[Spoonboy]

This may sound a bit boring, but if you like reading, why not see if there are any book reading circles in your area.

[Budlet]

Thanks for all your suggestions. Maydup, I will be looking at do-it today, unfortunately Kentwell is a bit too far but would be ideal! 237SJ, meetup is London, but I quite fancied some of the walks and talks that they do. It is only 30 minutes into central London for me. Thanks again to everyone who replied. It is so lovely that people who don't know me are prepared to help out. Shame you don't all live near me!!x