This is a tricky one...

[hippyhoppy]

Some of you may know.. been divorced 4 years (he left me) and have been seeing a lovely (albeit unavailable) chap since August.. Have a healthy relationship with the ex (kids being the main part.. but don't see the point in being vindictive).. Now the ex is 'wanting the old 'me' back and said.. 'that's what I've been waiting for'... So what's next..?! Do I say goodbye to my lovely, unavailable boyfriend and get back with the kids dad.. or do I live life on the shelf, perforated with the odd salacious evening out with the boyfriend.. (who the ex knows nothing about.. why should he..!!?).. Lordy.. this is complicated...!!!

[woofgang]

If he's unavailable because he is married or in a relationship then do not go there.....a it's unlikely to work and b shame on you....what about the third choice? Say rollicks to both of them and find yourself a real relationship?

[sara3]

hh, why did you separate from him in the first place?

[joggerjayne]

Golly! ... I'm trying to put this all on a spreadsheet.

[anneasquith]

do you want to return to your ex ?

[albaqwerty]

KIt is not complicated. Are you happy and are your children happy with the current situation.?

Why can't the ex have you as the new 'you'? It's because you are a new person.

[NOX]

Or a fourth choice of having both of them;-)

[lcg]

doesn't sound tricky to me...he left you ages ago, you just kinda get on your feet and he wants the old 'you'? sounds like he's lonely and wants your comfy old rut (that he was bored with) back! you are sooooooooooo much better than that x

[hippyhoppy]

sara .. he left me.. and he divorced me as he wanted to 'move on'.. now, as we've spent some time together (Girls b'day, etc) he likes me again.. I'm sure it'll wear off in a matter of days.. lol... And I know there is no ''future' with BF (crap I hate that expression).. but he makes me smile and (again) complicated.. Shall I just chuck myself off Westfield CarPark...?!

[cazzz1975]

well the unavailable bf will always be a dead end, there is no future in it.

what has changed since your husband left? are the reasons he left going to be an issue? might they happen again?

[anneasquith]

nox, your a wee devil :),

[Prudie]

Have you got over your husband? Ideally you should walk away from both and find a free partner to love and share your life with but I'm the last one to advise on the sensible move where love's concerned!

[cazzz1975]

lol okay the husband sounds like he needs to do some growing up

[~Wingnut~]

Hmmm so the ex had his fun and now wants to come back? I guess depends on whether you want to get back with him and if there is still love there. Did he leave you for someone else and now thats run it's course? I don't think the unavaible boyf comes into this really as he will never be yours and there is no future there.

If it was me, the ex husband would have to work bloody hard to convince me to take him back and I would only get back with him if it was what I wanted not because he was 'wanting the old me back'

It could be that you don't need to be with either of them? Sorry not much help lol but I wish you all the best Hippy cos you deserve to be happy :o)
x

[sara3]

perhaps the you he likes is the one who behaves like this with a "secret lover".

you get back together, you go back to being the other half, he's not happy, off he goes..

[hippyhoppy]

Prudie.. at my age finding 'another' is beyond doubtful...

[yogi-bear]

"Now the ex is 'wanting the old 'me' back and said.. 'that's what I've been waiting for'..."

?????


Hi Hippyhoppy

He left YOU, my lovely, and he wants the 'old you back'......and says you've been waiting for it?

Have you?.......do you want him back?

As for the guy who's unavailable, is he married maybe with kids?

Unless he's having troubles with his own relationship, there will never be a chance with you.

Woofgang's advice is mine too. Find someone who wants you and you them the same way.

Best of luck, hh x

[Prudie]

hh don't be daft and don't put yourself down, people find love at all ages.

[anneasquith]

hh, life doesnt end if you dont have a man around !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[joggerjayne]

hippy ... We find new "others" in the most unexpected circumstances, sometimes.

[cazzz1975]

I agree with yoges here

your a proper stunner hippy, you shouldnt have a problem finding a nice guy