need advice please

[bednobs]

Hi, i need to order my thoughts so writing down will help, plus any sage advice will be welcome. After experiencing the stillbirth of my daughter in august at 28 weeks, my husband and i woud like to try to get preg again. Things that need to be considered are:

examination of the placenta showed a translocation in chromosome 19 - uncertain significance (we are still waiting to see if one of us gave it to her, or if it just happened when she was being made)
due to have a knee replacement in feb/march/april
took me 9 years to get pregnant and i am now nearly 37
only had 1 period since the birth, and was expecting another one 2 weeks ago (not preg now)
Am on lots of medication for the RA
Anyway, as things have been so out of my control lately, i would like to have some sort of plan that's in my control.
My plan is to start trying now, then when i get a date for the op stop trying. My plan would also be to track my ovulation so that i could find out quickly if i am preg, and change onto safer meds.
My husband would like me to get the knee op out of the way first, try for six months then look at being referred back to the fertility clinic.
Anyone want to wade in with some opinions on what to do?

[redcrx]

hi bednobs
Right my personal opinion would be.
start charting and perhaps taking any fertility drugs (if safe to do so) now. get an idea on your cycle
start discussing with you gp / consultant about coming off drugs for RA if they are unsafe to take during pregnancy
feb/mar have knee op.
37 isnt old, i know a few women who had their first child after that age
hopefully your gp can refer you for tests or will have advice on the chromsomal problem and you will, by feb / march time, be more informed and can base decisions around that too.

but thats just my opinion.

x

[boxtops]

Bednobs - not my province these days, but way back when, when we were trying to conceive, I kept a temperature chart so that it could be judged when ovulation was taking place. It was pretty easy to do, you might want to consider this. If I were you I would indeed get your knee op out of the way first so you can be better for weight-bearing later on! However it does no harm to get referred back, anything you can do to prepare your body for a future pregnancy would be a good thing, IMO. I wish you both all the very very best ♥

[bednobs]

hey thanks, unfortunately i can't do the temperature thing because the meds im on mask temp changes

[anneasquith]

try to get an appointment with a doctor where you gave birth to Heather for advice.

[China Doll]

Never had or tried for children so no advice to give but I do wish you luck,

[karenmac60]

Bednobs, you can use the ovulation kits you get now rather that the whole temperature thing - there's also the way they figure out the rhythm method which has something to do with the thickness of your 'fluids', but I think the kits are pretty accurate. As for your age, my former boss got pregnant for the first time at 37, and she went on to have 3 sons in total after that age, so you're not old! I would say get the op out of the way, and concentrate on getting over your loss and planning for the future in the meantime - redcrx, makes some very good points about your meds etc too. Whatever you choose to do, good luck x

[tastymorsel]

Oh darling just go for it.What will be will be

[ann_h]

I agree with your husband. If you did become pregnant soon, you would obviously have to cancel your surgery, which would be a nuisance. Plus dealing with pregnancy and small baby while still having very sore knee, and/or less effective meds. Then eventually rebooking the op around your childcare. Get it out of the way first.
Have a look on babycentre.co.uk or similar, plenty of ladies 35-45 ttc on there who would have experience of methods, treatments, tests etc etc
x

[jb190281]

i haven't got advice to give but wish you all the best luck in the world xx

[tigwig]

Hi bednobs, I would follow your heart and I have a feeling that you would like to start trying again as soon as poss. I think you should go for it! It will happen when it happens and there is always something that comes up where you think it would be a bad idea. I don't think you are too old at all either. If you are still unsure you could just not use any contraception and see what happens rather than actively trying. Good luck with whatever you do and I truly wish you happiness for the future.

[Slooow_Jo]

Not sure what part of the country your in, but I had a long & very helpful chat with my midwife last week, she told me about a midwife who works at one of the maternity hospitals here in Birmingham who deals with couples who have suffered multiple miscarriages or like us, a stillbirth. I'd imagine this isn't only available in Birmingham so maybe you could ask your GP or even SANDS could advice you. Its worth looking into because from what I've been told by my midwife, even though its still too soon for me to even consider if we're going to try & get pregnant again ( btw I hate the term 'try again' don't you?) I can still make an appointment to discuss the possibility & what the health risks could be etc & she'd be able to advice of any tests she thinks should be done or chase up results from tests already done.

[Slooow_Jo]

Also meant to say, its not unusual for your periods to be irregular but it may be easier to keep track of ovulation when they've settled.

But, main thing is making sure your mentally & emotionally ready too xx