Feel Awful About Talking About This

[jennyjoan]

I have a sick friend lives a good way from me. In the last year or so she has asked me to order like all kinds of stuff, leggins, turbans, visor and other stuff.

She asked for one of those phone holders knobby things and another pair of leggins today. I have gone and ordered them all and while most of them were cheap enough I sorta don't mind. She keeps saying - I know I owe you etc and I'll you right - but the money is not forthcoming.

She can't get out so is at the mercy of a friend and carers, after today I won't be buying any thing more. She does be so grateful.

Do think because she is so ill she sorta doesn't think.

[jennyjoan]

^^^ see you right

[bednobs]

why cant she order stuff herself i wonder?

[Mamyalynne]

I'd simply say "I'm a bit stuck myself at the moment".

[jennyjoan]

she really doesn't know how to order from like ebay and amazon.

last time I was with her I had brought down loads of groceries she had asked me to get, and like I could laugh, she says - now you will have to take the money - in the end as I was leaving - I was mortified - and said - err - do you want to give me that money.

[jennyjoan]

She received quite a big benefit before Xmas - and it was backdated. I helped to fill in the forms and she said - I will be sending you something whether you like it or not - well I'm still waiting. LOL

[Crucigram]

Perhaps you could suggest she send you a cheque if she still has a cheque book. I’m sure she could get a carer to post it for her. It sounds like she’s not able to do things online so it’s possible she does still use cheques and if you have online banking you could scan it and pay it in that way.

[Toorak]

It sounds as though you are being taken advantage of. Good advice from mamya

Jj - what is a phone holder knobby thing?

[Chinajan]

Tot up what you've bought. Next time you speak or message, you say,

"Hi Friend. When will you be paying me back for the things I bought for you? It's £xxx "

[jennyjoan]

oh jeepers China - couldn't do that in a million years but have resolved today orders is the last time - definitely

Toorak - this is the link to your knob LOL

https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Pop-Up-Phone-Holder-Selfie-Finger-Grip-Socket-Stand-for-Iphone-Samsung-Universal/174644690723?_trkparms=aid%3D111001%26algo%3DREC.SEED%26ao%3D1%26asc%3D20160908105057%26meid%3D567b41e37ac54cdaa7fad1d25b5ad2ba%26pid%3D100675%26rk%3D2%26rkt%3D15%26mehot%3Dnone%26sd%3D323290978796%26itm%3D174644690723%26pmt%3D0%26noa%3D1%26pg%3D2380057&_trksid=p2380057.c100675.m4236&_trkparms=pageci%3Abd9bc991-73aa-11eb-a4e2-ced51ff7ab09%7Cparentrq%3Ac0bbdacc1770ad4a768f496cffdc3064%7Ciid%3A1

[jennyjoan]

I do agree re the cheque and no she doesn't have an online account. She receives paper statements from the bank a month.

[Toorak]

Thank you jj :-)

[Smowball]

Why on earth would she think you would pay for it all?? You’re not a cash point !

[-SharonA-]

Tell her your computer is on the blink. Also Mamya has good advice.
Just tell the truth, you're not in a position to help as funds are a little low.

[Chinajan]

Why could you not ask for your money? Your friend had no problem asking you for yours.

[Mamyalynne]

I've always found it easier to be straight than keep getting put upon.

[tiggerblue10]

Tell her you can't afford to order her any more stuff until she coughs up.

[jennyjoan]

I know her a lifetime, she was an ex boss of mine many years ago and always always very kind.

She sorta has this perception that I like to do this out of the kindness of my heart LOL - have to laugh at that.

She'll say - now I don't want to hurt you but you must take the money otherwise I won't order anything more. Yee Ha Ha hahhahah

[bobbinwales]

yes. Just say your happy to help but need the money up front in these difficult times

[jennyjoan]

well as I say - she is very ill and she lost her little dog of 16 years about 2 weeks ago - so this time ordering is just like a little comfort to her (if you know what I mean). I won't be ordering anything more.

[barry1010]

Just be straight with her and ask her for the money. No need to make excuses for asking or faff about.