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I need some quotes...famous or not?

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Satu_Hati | 13:19 Fri 10th Feb 2012 | Animals & Nature
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Any reason that this is in animals?
On a grave headstone "I told you I was ill"
On someone's deathbed "God will forgive me. It's his profession"
In a court case, (on which I was a juror) -
Judge: How can you be sure this happened at 3.15pm?
defendent: I always look at my watch when something is going to happen.
Democracy: Where two idiots can outvote one genius.
'Google' QUOTES and get loads. Simple....
'Tis better to fully experience the present than to be always thinking about the future
-- answer removed --
Lady Astor to Churchill--Winston you are drunk.
Churchill to Astor--Yes Madame I am, and you are ugly but tomorrow I shall be sober
Also Lady Astor and Churchill:

Lady Astor: “If you were my husband I’d put poison in your coffee!”

Churchill: “Madam, if you were my wife I’d drink it!”
smoke me a kipper i'll be back for breakfast
Ma momma said, life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get. :-)
I wouldn't recommend sex, drugs or insanity for everyone, but they've always worked for me.

Hunter S. Thompson
£725 luv + vat.
I am of the opinion that a beautiful state of mind is just fantastic - far-reaching as a shining star, gleaming forever in one's memory crown.
(Anon)
well he would wouldn't he
Honi soit qui mal y pense! ;-)
If you give up smoking, drinking and loving; you won't live any longer...
It just feels like it.

Clement Frued
A mind is like a parachute. It doesnt work if it's not open.
Get busy living, or get busy dying.
For me, American humorist and author Mark Twain (real name Samuel Langhorne Clemens) was the best exponent of “one liners”. A few examples of the many hundreds you can find:

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."

"Denial ain't just a river in Egypt."

"The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated" [after learning that his obituary had been published in a New York newspaper].
"Your wife, sirrah, under the pretext of keeping a bawdy house, is a receiver of stolen goods."
Dr Samuel Johnson

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