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A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get...
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At a jewellery store, a young man bought an expensive locket as a present for his girlfriend. "Don't you want her name engraved upon it?" asked the jeweller. The young man thought for a...
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A trucker had driven his fully loaded rig to the top of a steep hill and was just starting down the equally steep other side when he noticed a man and a woman lying in the centre of the road, making...
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Worried because they hadn't heard anything for days from the widow in the neighbouring apartment, Mrs Silver said to her son, "Timmy, would you go next door and see how old Mrs Kirkland is?"...
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An African ambassador visited Russia and was entertained by his opposite number, the Russian ambassador. For three days, the African ambassador was wined, dined, and generally treated to the best...
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Two blondes were comparing notes concerning their latest boyfriends. The first said, "He took me to his apartment in Mayfair and showed me all these expensive jewels. There was an emerald-cut...
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After a young couple brought their new baby home, the wife suggested that her husband should try his hand at changing nappies. "I'm busy," he said, "I'll do the next one. “The...
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Mrs. Sullivan and her little daughter Patty were outside the church watching all the comings and goings of a wedding. After the photographs had been taken, everyone had driven off to the reception,...
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Jane was a first time contestant on a £65,000 quiz show. Lady luck had smiled in her favour, because Jane had gained a substantial lead over her opponents. She even managed to win the game but,...
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An attractive woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Texas when her car broke down. An Indian on horseback came along and offered her ride to a nearby town. She climbed up behind him...
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Two prisoners were making their escape over the jailhouse roof when one of them dislodged a tile. "Who's there?" shouted a guard. The first prisoner replied with a convincing imitation of a...
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A very well-built, young, blonde lady was laying on her Psychiatrist’s couch, telling him how frustrated she was. "I tried to be an actress and failed," she complained. "I tried...
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Alzheimer's Test for Modern Seniors How fast can you guess these words: 1. F_ _K 2. PU_S_ 3. S_X 4. P_N_S 5. BOO_S 6. _ _NDOM Answers: 1. FORK 2. PULSE 3. SIX 4. PANTS 5. BOOKS 6. RANDOM You got all 6...
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My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned: I couldn't concentrate. Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the axe. After...
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A pirate is starting his first day aboard his new ship and the captain is giving him the tour. ''There's the plank for trouble makers, there's the deck that needs swabbing everyday and there's the...
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At a big cocktail party, an obstetrician`s wife noticed another guest, a big, oversexed blonde, was making overtures at her husband. It was a large, informal gathering, so she tried to laugh it off,...
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A little old lady goes into the Chase Manhattan Bank and says she wants to open a savings account. The account person asks her how much she would like to deposit to open the account, and the little...
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Applying for a new position as a cleaning lady, the woman was asked why she had left her previous job. "I just wasn't comfortable with their immoral behavior," she replied. "Really?...
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A carpet layer had just finished installing carpet for a lady. He stepped out for a smoke, only to realize he'd lost his cigarettes. In the middle of the room, under the carpet, was a bump. ''No sense...
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Jupiter came down to Earth one day and decided to help two criminals to rob a bank. Anyway, to make a long story short, they got caught and the three of them found themselves in court. The judge...
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