marval
I had a secret meeting with a detective last night. He said it was better if I didn't know his name, then extended his hand for me to shake. That was a bit of a giveaway, Inspector Gadget. I took this...
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marval
A pretty little girl named Suzy was standing on the pavement in front of her home. Next to her was a basket containing a number of tiny creatures; in her hand was a sign announcing “FREE KITTENS”...
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marval
What's the difference between a postman and a postwoman? A few letters. Famous Last Words Anne Boleyn: "Henry! I am NOT giving you head!" I once went on an 18-30 holiday, which was fun, but 12yrs is...
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marval
A woman’s cooking had always been the target of family jokes. One evening, as she prepared dinner a bit too quickly, the kitchen filled with smoke and the smoke detector went off. Although both of...
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marval
John was talking to his fiancée, Rebecca. He said, "Be honest, now, baby. How am I as a lover?" To which she replied, "Honey, I would definitely say that you're warm." "Really?" he said excitedly....
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marval
A young man, living away from home, writes to his parents. Dear folks, I feel miserable because I have to keep writing for money. I feel ashamed and unhappy to have to ask for another hundred, but...
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marval
Needing some clothes cleaned in a hurry, a man searched the small Georgia town in which he was visiting until he found a sign which read: "Cleaning and Pressing, 24-Hour Service." After explaining his...
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marval
Some friends were sitting at the bar talking about their professions. The first guy says "I’m a YUPPIE, you know... Young, Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist" The second guy says...
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marval
Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of his regular teacher. She says, "Hello class, I'm Mrs. Prussy. When you say my name class remember it has an "r" after the first...
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marval
This memo is from an unnamed computer company. It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral problem. The author of this memo was quite serious. The engineers rolled on the floor...
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marval
I don't attack people. I'm all stalk and no action. I bet Dracula does all his shopping online, just so he can keep clicking on "your account." I rubbed a magic lamp and wished for the genie not to...
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marval
I'm often accused of eavesdropping. I just wish they'd have the guts to say it to my face I was telling a funny gag in the garden today, but the punch line was greeted with silence. Later on, my...
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marval
I followed this white bird with really long legs home the other night. Police are doing me for storking. As a Kid I hated losing, so I played with myself. If you ever get attacked by a tiger just...
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marval
As a painter, I'm proud to say some of my work can be seen in the National Gallery. I did the skirting boards. I found an old unframed oil painting in my loft yesterday of a beautiful naked lady so I...
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My mate insists on being called 'N' by everyone. He'll do anything to be the centre of attention. Why do celebrities call their children such silly names. My parents called me Robert because they had...
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marval
Did you hear about the man who opened a yacht showroom? Sails went through the roof. My driving instructor told me, never brake if there's an animal in the road. You should have seen the look on the...
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Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers. "So," he said, "I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe." Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. "You, attorney Leon,...
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marval
An American woman goes to England to attend a 2-week, company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip. The wife answers: "Thank you honey, what would...
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marval
Today, while driving on the motorway, I saw a guy shaving in his car and speeding about 65 miles an hour.
I was so angry that I almost dropped my lipstick in my coffee....
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marval
A couple had a lot of potted plants.. During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze. It turned out that a little green garden grass...
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