In an old people's home, an 87-year old woman walked into the recreation room, holding her clenched fist in the air, and announced, "Anyone who can guess what I've got in my hand can have sex with me...
A woman bought a whole range of anti-aging cosmetics and spent a whole afternoon in the bedroom applying potions to various parts of her body. Then she went downstairs and asked her husband, "tell me...
Hi guys, Been away for a while, but need your help. Got first wedding anniversary coming up, (second time around for both of us, not in first flush of youth etc...) anyhow, have got as far as...
Entering a car showroom, a man is grabbed by a salesman and guided round the latest, gleaming convertible sports car. The prospective customer announces that he is interested in purchasing the vehicle...
A woman phoned her husband at work. "Sorry darling, I'm busy at the moment. I havn't got time for a chat." "this won't take long. It's just that I've got some good news and some bad news." "Look, I'm...
A customer is ordering food in an Indian restaurant: "Waiter, what's this chicken tarka?" Waiter: "Sir, it's the same as chicken tikka, but a little 'otter"
Two fortune tellers are enjoying a day out at Bognor on a lovely summer's day. "Beautiful weather" says one "yes" replies the other, "reminds me of the summer of 2034"
I have just spent 5 or 6 minutes answering Tiggerblues rainy Sunday quiz, for fun, as soon as I pressed submit everything disappearred. This happenned last week for 2 days then everything was OK What...
Next weekend I might have 2-3 hours to kill in central London before my train from Paddington. Recently my daughter and I greatly enjoyed the street entertainment at Covent Garden when we went to see...
Last night I had my first attempt at making crab cakes. I followed a recipe which ( for 2) used a tin of crab meat and a fillet of white fish. Also Red Thai curry paste, egg etc. Although quite nice,...
My colleague got a kitten a while ago. As far as I can tell she is reasonably responsible, and was planning to have it neutered at 6 months. Unfortunately it got pregnant before this and now has 3...
I love a bargain, where is the best place to pick up bargains from charity shops in London. I am actually a shop manager for a charity shop in the styx, but I always imagine there must be more...
Don't know if this should be on sport or travel or what, but know you lot will give me a run for my money. Need to be at the start of the London Triathlon at 6.30am!! at Victoria Dock on 10th August...
