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Foot In Mouth

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rabet | 20:50 Fri 17th Oct 2014 | ChatterBank
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Have you ever said something totally inappropriate and realised your mistake immediately? I have to admit that I have done this on more occasions than I like to remember. For example, I once launched into a real slagging-off of a woman I knew, and then belatedly remembered that I was talking to her brother! (Drink was involved, as it often is in these situations.) Or have you been on the receiving end of a similar indiscretion? Please share.
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I used to share a house with a few girls, two of them had the same name - let's call them Jane - one was tiny and one was larger. We used to call them Big Jane and Little Jane, but not to their faces. Until one day one of us inadvertently blurted out "oh, do you mean Big Jane?" while we were gossiping about nothing much. Unfortunately, Big Jane was there and was utterly horrified that she was called Big Jane. It still makes me hot and ashamed all these years later.
More recently, I was at work and someone came in looking for a colleague of mine but didn't know what he looked like. I said "go and look for the short, bald guy", turned around, and of course he was right there two feet away from me.
I once asked a rather portly lady when she was due. She wasn't pregnant, just fond of chips, lager and chocolate
Spikeybush, that reminds me of another one that I almost did, but managed to shut my mouth in time. A neighbour of mine was wearing tight leather trousers and she had a significant bump. I was so close to congratulating her on her pregnancy, when I remembered that I'd noticed the same-sized bump about 6 months previously. She must have seen me looking as she breathed in and pulled her tummy in. I'm so glad I didn't say anything.
One of the new nurses at work was talking to me and said how much she liked my real first name. I explained how I'd hated it as a child as I was very shy, had to spell it for everybody as it's double-barrelled and all round I found it a complete pain in the butt. She then told me that's what she'd called her daughter...
A long time ago I drove an overhead crane(in the turbine shop of local factory), my "slInger" who I had to work very carefully with, he is the person responsible for attatching whatever to be transported by me (the driver).Worked with him for years and his name was "Taffy" Many years later, both now retired, I saw him in the local village, opened my car window and called out "Hi PADDY are you well? Senoir embarassing moment or what !!
^ Or even senior moment.

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