Boys Jolly To Las Vegas - For A Week??

[Smowball]

Morning guys! Ok, to cut long story short - my hubby sent me a txt yesterday whilst he was at work, saying his friend was going to Las Vegas in October for a week to celebrate his 40th, and could he go? He reckons his friend is paying for everybodys flights and hotels, and all he has to provide is spending money, which I find hard to believe for a start. Oh, and he needed to know by the eve as his friend needed to pay that night! Now apart from the fact that he clearly has know for ages and just wanted to put me on the spot, I cant stand this friend. Every time he sees him something happens, and not something good .he totally changes when he is with this guy, and not in a nice way. His friend is just a hard drinking gobby single bloke and the last person on earth I would imagine being his mate. Hubby met him for a lunchtime drink a few years ago - and wasn't seen for 24 hours! And he wants to go to Vegas for a week?? I really really don't like the whole idea. Your thoughts??

[joeluke]

Just telling it like it is Mamy

Ones wife is not ones mother so one does not need to ask permission to do something

[2sp_]

No Joe, but you should respect your spouse's wishes and feelings. If you want to live the single life and do whatever you want, then be single.

[Mamyalynne]

I shall not argue with that, I will say however that some of us are privy to the back story in the relationship.

For what it's worth my opinion is that the relationship is built on straw- I couldn't live like that, once the trust is gone it takes hard work on both sides to rebuild it.

[vodkancoke]

Smow, you should have told him to go. I could have got you a cheeky upgrade on my flight to Vegas for a wee "Surpriiiiiiiise!!!" ;)

[woofgang]

Mamya for best answer
"Have you been away Joe? I for one have missed your delicate handling in matters of the heart, you have such a sensitive way with you."

[woofgang]

PS, more seriously I agree completely with your answer of 19.36 and have said similar myself.

[Mamyalynne]

Ta, Woofgang.

[ladybirder]

I'm afraid Smow doesn't want to hear it, she never has. Perhaps he gives her a materially comfortable life and she's afraid to lose that. Also possibly frightened to go it alone with her son so puts up with whatever he dishes out. He sounds a totally charmless individual and I would be off like a shot if anyone treated me the way he does her. Not feeling the love in this marriage at all. Sorry Smow but without trust there's nothing, I just don't understand why you stay.

[Smowball]

I am certainly not afraid of being on my own, not do I need my husbands money - I am self employed myself. Yes I do totally understand why you don't see why I have stayed with him, and I have often questioned this myself - far more this week tbh. On paper he sounds dreadful half the time

[snags]

''I do totally understand why you don't see why I have stayed with him''

So why 'do' you stay with him?

[Smowball]

Because, like a lot of people, I probably only post the worst and never mention the good. And there is a lot of good.

[Graham-W]

Just found this and thought it may be useful: http://wilk4.com/humor/img/boysnightout.pdf

[Smowball]

Graham, that did make me laugh! ( prints out several copies for future reference......)

[emmie]

then post some of the good stuff, however i wouldn't care for the things you have posted about, and you obviously don't trust him, if that is the case how are you going to feel when he goes on this jolly and comes back.

[Smowball]

Can see where you're coming from but we don't in general do we...... though I guess I should.

[ladybirder]

Em he's NOT going on the jolly Smow has said.

[emmie]

so he isn't going, ok, however what about another time if he wants to go away or do something on his own, relationships are complex and trust is at the heart, if you don't trust them because they have behaved badly in the past, its often hard to get round or over it.

[Retrochic]

I'd be really upset if my OH described me as a 'Miserable Bitch', that's really degrading and offensive. Even if he did not say this to his friend (and I agree with OP that he probably didn't) he must still think its acceptable to call the OP that. My OH goes away for the odd weekend with his mates camping to watch motor racing but I would not be happy him going anywhere for a week, especially abroad .

[ummmm]

In all fairness my OH wouldn't have asked my permission. He would have at least phoned me or waited til he got home. He's never given me a reason to question him though.