racism killing my family

[irelandisin]

hi,

i have a big problem, my boyfriend is black and im white

my family will never acccept him in a 100 years

iv tried before

i used to say i had a black boyfriend to see wat wud happen, they went crazy, i had to tell them i was joking

my brother even beat me up in front my parents for jsut being suspicous i had a coloured boyfriend

i hate my family so much,i really love my guy so so muchw e been dateing for a year

and its so hard sneaking around!

in 1 year il be 18 i plan on getting money from my account and leaving the country

my boyfriend dont know about my family i told him they died when i was a kid

i know he wud dump me if he realised

im putting him in danger but i love to much to say bye

[joko]

funky moped - lovely sentiment and very true, but not exactly helpful or practical in this instance, is it? you are clearly the one who knows very little about this subjest or you would make such pathetic comments.

there is a serious issue regarding racism and waxing lyrical about it and asking why 'we are all' playing the 'race card' is rather silly.

what do you suppose the problem is for irelanisin if it isn't racism then?

come back when you have something constructive to add

[mullein3]

I have read some of the posts with great surprise...It is possible to turn your back and go..and restart elsewhere...some family will never budge in the way they think..If your family are as mean as you say then they are control freaks...everyone deserves a chance to be happy...a persons skin colour shouldnt come into it at all...but it does with some people..I guess you come from ireland and its a different game alltogether over their with all the troubles and the way people are segregated..and people have tunnell vision..well here in the uk their are many irish people in mixed marriages etc..its just easier..Dont try to take your life its not worth it..life is for living not existing and as i said to you before you will have to be strong and also truthfull with the boyfriend..as you need to stick together and move together...The family may never forgive you thats their problem ..mine had the same problem dad in particular was downright awfull we used to be argueing all the time ..the best of it was he didnt know any black people he had just formed an opinion...from watching them on the television or reading news papers he was just pig ignorant..and i used to tell him so every day!! their are good and bad in all races...some of the dirtyiest people i have met in my life on buses etc have all been white...my husband visits many homes through his job and he said the dirtyiest homes have allways been white peoples homes...I have had two elderly racists move in next door to me and they hadnt been their a week and the woman stood outside and said "hes black so say no more" so i wonder what she meant? and the man silly old git said to my husband if i knew you were next door i would have put a 10 foot wall up...he didnt we did..as they sat watching us for a few months so we blocked their view..My husband is only light skinned and the quietest person you could ever meet who helps pensioners in his spare time.."white ones"..

[mullein3]

If you do decide to come to england go to a big city ..either birmingham or london where you will just mingle in..you can easily get somewhere to rent for a start and their are lots of jobs...turning your back on your family can be easy or hard its the way you think about it ...the way i dealt with it was they had their lives and i was going to have mine..my dad even went behind my back to fix me up with dates with men he worked with...i told them where to get lost..My parents wanted me to marry their ideal man he would be miserable..boring...and downright conservative in his beliefs..well its tough as i married who i wanted to marry..they were the loosers in the long term as the mother lived longer than the dad and she was lonely and she tried to contact me but i told her where to get lost..she even tried to buy me in desperation but again i refused ..she used to contact my husbands place of work and offer me valuable things ..she went through my husband as he isnt as hard as me..but as soon as he told me i told him to tell her to stick them ..."somewhere RUDE" I was adopted by these narrow minded pair they are the only parents i knew as i had been with them from birth..and believe me we were like chalk and cheese...they used to try and make me be something they wanted even as a child but i would allways rebel against them...I am strong in mind and if you are going to leave then you had better toughen up..and start looking after number one!! I dont think its a good idea to move in with him while they have access to you as if they are violent then they will come after you..its best to put space between you and restart elsewhere...The main thing is you need to be truthfull and if you are seriouse then make your plans check out some accomodation in the uk and go...i know some have said its different now to when i did it well it was harder then...i

[irelandisin]

hey

thx 4 all the answers

but now it seems its turning into a little battle online or somthing

sorry if i caused any trouble betwenn evryone

thanks for all the response

its really helped me so much

much love

[mullein3]

irelandisin...Dont take any notice if people dont agree with you..they probably havnt been in the situation..its easy to comment without experiencing the situation...I was a little bit older than you at the time ..and was allready as stubborn as a mule...It is racism without a doubt but looking at it from another point of view its people too ignorant to see past someones skin colour..they dont know the person and just judge them on the colour of them..its ridiculouse..perhaps its best if you dont mention it at home as it will just make life worse...my dads sister allways supported me and loved my husband and daughter it was just him.. he was rigid in his beliefs...And now as i have the bad luck to have two old racists move in next door at first i was depressed about it but now i just call them the ku kluk klan and laugh it off..they have never even said hello to my husband just the man saying what he did..and that was that..well its their loss...you take care of yourself and i hope things get easier for you..life is short...and you will have to toughen up a bit if you let people on here upset you a lot of people will post and be aggressive just ignore it...each person is different and each has his own problems to deal with...just remember we are the master of our own fate..

[irelandisin]

mullein

honestly ur the best person iv ever come across with a problem like mine,

i admire how you got through ur problem and went on with life with ur head up

when i feel like hope is lost, il think of a survior

il think of all u have said and it give sme so much hope

thanks a bunch

u did great

[funkymoped]

GOOD LUCK. :-)