Things Children come out with

[grasscarp]

Today my grandson, who has just turned three, was given a chocolate raisin. He immediately wanted another, but his dad said, "Have you forgotten the important word?". Quick as a flash he came back with "Now".

[baza]

thats kids for you, great aint they.

[SpikeyBush]

I remember when my wife told my son that Mammies don't have willies, she was told "go to the shop and buy one"

Another tale that sticks in my mind was told by my supervisor years ago. He was taking his 5 year old daughter home from Chester Zoo along the M56 when he got cut up. He mumbled an expletive at the driver responsible. Two days later, with the in-laws round for tea, his daughter piped up with the question, "Daddy, what's a f*cking pudding?"

[SpikeyBush]

AB made 'Pudding' from my entry of tango whisky alpha tango

[nungate]

I had to take my daughter with me for a doctor's appointment and while I was getting ready etc the doc was chatting to her, I remember him asking her how old she was she replied "I'm five, but when I go on the bus with Grandma I'm four" Grandma was always as tight as two coats of paint and objected to paying her bus fare...........

[grasscarp]

These stories are all great. Thank you for them.

[SpikeyBush]

I like it nungate, made me laugh more than the effing T episode

[sophie_1003]

I work in a nursery so hear priceless stuff on a daily basis, recent ones that have made me laugh- a dad was trying to explain a bit about the queen to his child, child responded; "So does baby Jesus work for the queen?" and "My knees are crapping!"

[nungate]

Sadly, even at 23 years old she's still ddropping me in it!

[nungate]

see what I mean?
She even has me stuttering! ddropping......

[grasscarp]

My daughter was going to bed and I asked her if she had been to toilet. She was about five. She replied I don't need to, I havent had any drinks. Big sister said to her, " it isn't just drinks. It's waste body plasma". Not much you can say to that! She is now a barrister.

[Ann]

Niece aged nearly 4 picked up an acorn - "What's this?" she asked. OH told her it was a special seed that would grow into an ENORMOUS oak tree! With a look of absolute horror on her face she dropped it very quickly shuddering "O No - not in me 'and!" Priceless!

[Kiki-frog]

When she was about six, my niece told her teacher that her brother was a terrorist, which led to some probing questions, especially as at that time they lived quite close to one of the London bombers in Leeds. She just meant that he was a little horror.

[abstibus]

Before the days of cordless phones, sis was in the garden having a BBQ.
The phone rang in the house and she jumped up and tripped over the chair.
Son at school on Monday:
'Mummy was drinking wine in the garden and she fell over.'

[grasscarp]

All of these stories are very funny - especially Annmollie's.

[andrew1707]

I used to work in M&S many moons ago. I once overheard a little boy (about 4 /5 ish) standing in the till queue bothering his mum for some sweets but not getting anywhere:
Little Boy: "If you don't buy me sweets I'll tell everyone my little secret."
Mum (in a slightly raised voice): "Oh yes, and what's your little secret then?"
LB: "I saw mummy kissing daddy's willy".
The lady turned bright red, dropped her shopping basket and made a dash for the door leaving her little boy behind.

[parkie]

Some years ago my sister-in-law was driving about 60mph along a dual carriageway with her three year old grandson strapped in a car seat in the back seat. Suddenly, two little hands came across her face, covering her eyes, and a voice said, "Guess who, Grandma?"
Childproof straps? Never heard of 'em.

[Traci66]

OH was standing at open back door, Mason age 4 asked what he was doing, getting some fresh air said OH, can I help, asked Mason, I want to help you get fresh air.