Obsession with a chance meeting

[**Clem**]

Hey, so obsession is a bit of an exaggeration but just wondered if anyone else has ever met someone, really hit it off, they think the same, then left each other and never saw each other again but then you can't get them out of your head? I think I'm going mental! I think about him a lot of the time but not sure whether it is because he's so unobtainable that it makes him more appealing or whether I'm clinging to the thought of someone else because I'm not happy in my relationship and I think this other bloke could make me happier or is it that meeting someone you have instant chemistry is so rare that I can't let it go.

Has anyone else had this or care to offer opinions or advice? I met him a few years ago, haven't spoken to him since but can't forget about him. x

[David H]

You asked, so here's my latest of many. I only do it with those women I may as well have seen on TV for all the chances I have in reality. The latest was single, so theoretically fair game, but a friend of my mothers and the same sort of age. I did see her a few times but the effect was the same by the second time and lasted as a constant obsession until I finally sent her an email which she ignored, and that cured the condition. But only once every few years do I meet a woman I perform my best with and who understands me and has similar interests, and of course I then feel I want more. I just never seem to get it...

As far as advice goes, if you can't do anything then leave the thought in the past as I have many times. No one's so special they can ruin your life once they've gone. And if you can't be with them that's the alternative effect if you continue the belief you can't find that with anyone else. Each new one I found after losing true love 30 years ago has been different from the first but I accepted each of them as a potential. Otherwise you've closed the door on anyone new as they won't be good enough for you.

[Lindy Lou]

Sounds like you never really got to know him and you're just fantasising that he's your perfect partner. If you're not happy in your relationship it's only natural that your transfer all your hopes and dreams on to someone who you imagine is right for you. Dreams very rarely live up to expectations though. I've been through similar experiences and I wish I'd just left it at the fantasy stage! If you're not happy where you are, it's far better to leave and just be on your own and work out what you really want than to expect a man to come along and making everything alright. If you're not happy and in control of your own life, no-one can fit ix for you. Sorry if it sounds harsh, but I'm getting a bit cynical in my old age!

[Lindy Lou]

Excuse the typo's, it's late.

[Grimalkin]

You should watch "Before Sunrise"

[**Clem**]

Thanks all. Am glad I'm not the only one and agree that if I did ever get to know him better, I'd probably discover all the same faults that my bloke has!

Will watch the film Grimalkin - thanks! x

[MangoPete]

HI Clem
I wouls say listen to what Lindy Lou said
We all have fleeting and not so fleeting flashes of romance. Like beautiful fireworks exploding across our senses

I met a girl on a train,
We spent several wonderful hours together chatting and laughing and flirting, she was from greece we were on a train from London. we were so busy talking I almost missed my stop and we never exchanged numbers
I spent weeks trying to find her.

I also spent 5 years working with someone who felt for me as I did for her, we even had a telepathic link,I knew when she was rushed into hospital, when she had news her husband was dying of a tumour. We conceived children on the same day
But I was married at the time and I wouldn't cheat.
I have a special place for each of these women.
I feel that what we had was beyond what normal people feel.
I hold these memories close in my heart, just because they are in the past doesnt deminish what they are.
I will hold them very dear forever.

But we move on and we have our responsibilities and real lives and with this in mind.

I would say listen to what Lindy Lou has said...

There is a little poem that might help


Jenny kiss'd me when we met,
Jumping from the chair she sat in;
Time, you thief, who love to get
Sweets into your list, put that in!
Say I'm weary, say I'm sad,
Say that health and wealth have miss'd me,
Say I'm growing old, but add,
Jenny kiss'd me.

Treasure fond memories, be grateful for every time love touches you like the first time the sun kissing your face.

[Cockney_si]

You should also watch the film Serendipty....

[lindapinda]

Thanks for that poem mangopete,I remember coming across it years ago,and thought it was lovely.I'd completely forgotten about it!

[**Clem**]

Thanks Pete - your whole post gave me goosebumps, especially the poem! Never heard it before and I thought it was beautiful.

Guess I'm going to have to file this man under the never-had-never-will section! x

[MangoPete]

Glad to help.
Could I suggest you look at what is making you unhappy in your relationship and try deal with this .
If you are looking for a way out it is not often a good idea to go straight into another relationship as you reallt need to step back and understand what you are looking for. We try so hard to find what sometimes we think we need when really if we took time to listen to our soul we surprise ourselves.
That spark could be behind the next door you open or on the seat next to you on the tube but we each must be aware of who we are before we can find our other half to the whole. How can we find our other half if we don't even know who we are ourselves (he says preaching to himself again)
I wish you a safe and exciting journey