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ettelloc | 22:21 Thu 03rd Nov 2005 | Parenting
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My friend has had a baby to a guy in the army. He has been on paternity leave for 1 week, seen the baby for half an hour & not yet bought him a thing. How can my friend get in touch with the army to let them know that he is abusing his leave & to find out what she is entitled to.
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hmm, I'm sure it would be easy enough to find out which barracks or regiment he is in but I don't really think that they'll do anything about it. She might be entitled to money or something but that's nothing to do with the army. Regarding child support and such she should get in touch with the appropriate government agency thingy, can probably find it online.

I was going to say ecatly the same. What has it got to do with the Army? At the end of the day they are just his employer. How he spends his leave is up to him - even with paternity leave, I am sure that there is nothing written in stone that says 'You must spend all of your paternity leave with your child'.


Don't get me wrong, I do feel for your friend, I just don't see what it has to do with the Army. Was it a one night stand? A serious relationship? Marriage? You don't actually say.


I am sure there is more than one soldier with a 'girl in every port' (or whatever the Army equivalent) and possibly with more than one child by a different mother. She should contact the CSA but I doubt the Army would be interested.

When I was in the army, and a young lady contacted the rgt saying she was either pregnant or actually had the baby, and this happened more than a couple of times, first the soldier concerned was summoned, either to hhis CO, or Padre, to be asked about it, if he denied any knowledge, or said it wasn't his, that was the end of the matter as far as they were concerned, but this was before DNA. I think you shoul contact your MP, as a constituant, he/she, should take this up. Good luck.

Hi ettelloc, I'm sure you are loyal to your friend but this is really between them. I sense that you are angry and looking for revenge. How he responds to his first contact is not for anyone to criticise, bear in mind he is probably young, niave and bewildered, it could cause problems if you do, three's a crowd and all that!


If you must be involved, support them both and give them time to get used to this very new situation. Given time he may decide he really does want to be a good father but you can't force him. He should however, be prepare to support the baby voluntarily, if not your friend can go to the CSA. The Army may help with this.


If there is any sort of relationship there then let it florish, if not then it is very unfortunate for the child. Encourage your friend to keep in touch with the father for the childs sake. There is nothing worse for a child than not knowing who its parents are.

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