Teenagers!!

[Kat213]

Any help in keeping my teenage boy (aged 15) under control?  He is basically a good kid but is hanging around with a crowd of boys who are not interested in school or academically minded at all.  My son is now saying that he doesn't want to go to college next year (which he did until recently) although he is quite bright and perfectly capable.  I don't want to come down too heavy handed on him as I feel that this makes them rebel further!  But I am really concerned as he is taking his GCSEs in the spring and I feel that he is not taking his schoolwork seriously enough at present.  Anybody prepared to share similar experiences, I would be very grateful.

[metagirl]

unfortunately, I'm not a mother - but I am the oldest of 5 kids and I can sympathise - where I had great friends growing up (all "into" doing well at school) who all helped eachother succeed in school and getting into  universities, etc..and who are now all professionals. my younger sister on the otherhand was a good girl but had terrible friends. unfortunately, she didn't do well at school and none of her friends or herself went to university.

my mother had a very hard time dissuading her from her friends. they would have terrible arguments and my sister would often just leave for the entire night and not come home until SHE wanted to. poor mom!

the only thing that helped is getting other people (either family members or just family friends) to talk to her. maybe if you have a church you go to? or some sympathetic family friends that can gently raise the issue by asking him about his future plans - thereby putting him on the spot? also, can you remove him from the "scene" for a time? fairweather friends and all....

[DJKC]

My son is exactly the same age, we thought we were going to have this problem a couple of months,  i recieved a phone call from his school to tell me that they had caught him smoking on the school premises. Smoking happens to be my biggest pet HATE !!. So i sat him down to discuss things, school exams, his future, SMOKING, his friends and most importantly his family. The support we can give him to get through this next 12 months, BUT he had to show us he was going to put in as much effort as we were. He as now stopped smoking (we think) he as droped ceretain so called friends and is working hard towards better grades. Even the school as helped by giving him extra tuition.

So what i'm saying is put an evening to one side so you can sit down as a family unit and talk through things, if he is a good kid he should be able to see it makes sense.

Good luck