Breastfeeding in public

[enigma]

Should breastfeeding in public be banned or embraced as the most natural way to feed your child ? If breastfeeding is being promoted as the healthiest way to feed your baby and mothers are being advised of not only the nutritional benefits to their baby but also of the health benefits to both baby and mum , then why is it frowned upon in so many establishments such as eateries and department stores ?

[enigma]

Thank you all so much for your answers. It's good to see so many people in favour of what I see as the most natural way to feed your child but also sad to see that in our so called progressive society , there is still very much a prehistoric attitude towards breastfeeding. As I have stated before , I have NEVER bared my breasts in public and would die of shame if I thought I had. As you learn how to breastfeed confidently , you learn how to do it discreetly and anyone looking at me feeding my child would think that my baby was just cuddling me. The point which I made in my original post was that an elderly lady assaulted me with her walking stick , branding me a jezebel because I was feeding in public - which is unusual because the older generation tend to be more supportive - and told me that it should be banned. I know it's not banned but I was just quoting what she had said. Furthermore , I object to being forced into a dirty , smelly changing room which doubles as a breastfeeding room because this is sending out the wrong message to people that breastfeeding is wrong and any mother who's ever endured this torture will undoubtedly know that the nappy bins often tend to be overflowing and smelly - how can someone be expected to sit there for perhaps 20 mins at a time , enduring the foul stench and then be expected to go out to their dinner table again and still enjoy their food ? Also , why should I get indigestion by having to get up from my table to feed my baby ? If smokers can sit freely and not be herded into some little back room for a fly puff , then why should I ?

[enigma]

I wish to second the comment made that breastfed babies do not bring up as much of their milk feed as bottle fed babies and usually have less wind as they are not taking in air from a bottle. I found it extremely difficult to express milk - it's not as easy as it seems and not all mothers CAN do this. I was exhausted continuously because my hubby couldn't feed our daughter and it also meant that I couldn't leave her with a babysitter for more than a couple of hours as I had to dash back to feed her. I have also been called a party pooper because i've turned down a lot of birthdays , weddings etc where my kids couldn't be invited and having not taken as much as a sip of alcohol during my last pregnancy , breastfeeding my daughter and now this pregnancy , I haven't had a drop to drink in 27 months and won't drink during the rest of my pregnancy or whilst breastfeeding. I'm not saying that I should have praise heaped upon me but I don't think that I should be condemned for making a small sacrifice to give my baby a healthy start in life. I wasn't really much of a drinker to begin with but it amazes me how many people think that you can't be sociable without a drink. My first daughter was bottle fed and i'm not saying that your child won't thrive if bottle fed because my eldest daughter is now seven and very tall - wearing clothes from the 9-10 range but research has shown that bottle fed babies receive not just vital nutrients and minerals from mum but also immunity from every cold , bug,virus etc that mum has ever had and are less likely to devlop hereditory conditions such as asthma , eczema etc than bottle fed babies. I would never rip into a bottle feeding mother because not all women feel comfortable feeding their baby this way and many simply are unable to do so for one reason or another. This does not in any way affect their parenting skills and anyone who suggests that this makes them any less of a mother is being absurd.

[enigma]

Oh and by the way , some establishments as I have said before ARE still not breastfeeding friendly. I've lost count how many times I sat on a toilet pan to feed my daughter because I was made to feel uncomfortable for feeding her. Now I don't care what people think. I will do what I feel is best for my child and I have every right to do so. If someone objects then that is their problem. I will not feel ashamed for feeding my baby in the way that nature intended. If people can spend hours ogling women's breasts in papers . magazines etc then why feel uneasy about women using them in the way which mother nature intended ? If not to be used for breastfeeding then why DO expectant mothers fill up with milk. Oh and for the record , women who breastfeed regularly but miss even one feed , quickly fill up with milk which can be very painful and leaky round patches on clothes , even whilst using breast pads , looks very unflattering ! So even if you CAN express milk , it can be very painful during the in between feeds and you have to try and express some milk to ease the pain - which if out in public is not always that easy.

[zgma]

LOL enigma. Once when my son was about 3 months old, my husband and I went out to a concert. In the middle of the concert I was so uncomfortable that I left, went to our car parked 4 blocks away, plugged the breast pump into the cigarette lighter and slumped into the seat hoping nobody would walk by (and I'm sure there were quite a few walking by; this was downtown San Francisco). The breastpump, while very useful, is one of the most devilish-looking devices ever.

[nrmatth]

firstly i didn't breastfeed because my daughter refused but even though this is a bonding thing between mother and child i believe as with anything else you have to expect different opinions. If you have to breastfeed in public then by all means your child's appetite comes first. but if you are a little uncomfortable then try to work some outings around the feeding schedule and when the situations do arrise use a light blanket to be more discreet. when i see a women (as a mother and women and open-minded person) brestfeeding in public discreetly and not in an extremely busy area or casually draping her baby with a recieving blanket then it's a beautiful thing. but the women who look like if the baby wasn't there they'd be half naked or act like they're rebelling by doing it in high traffic instead of a quiet area. then i find that offensive. I wouldn't blow my nose right in front of you but if i had to i would do it discreetly. you can understand that even though the action is the same by showing respect for the feelings of others the reaction is completely different.

[nrmatth]

and to comment on the contraceptive benefits of breast-feeding. please stop this old wives tail! it may not be as easy but you can still get pregnant while breast feeding. Breast-feeding is great for bonding, antibodies and weight loss but contraceptive it is not.

[sylviak]

hello enigma!! i understand how you feel about this situation and no i dont agree that seperate rooms should be made for breastfeeding mothers.they are normal mothers not people with leprosy(doolallygirl). people who are against a public display of affection and love between a mother and child obviously are closed minded . they should take a good look at all the child abuse and neglect that goes on in this world how a lot of children are badly malnourished and brain damaged,bruised and sexually assaulted. how some parents spend all their money on drink and drug addictions and dont love or treat their children like the precious human beings they are.i would also like to direct this at the evil woman that attacked you if by chance she comes across this site.remember back to that day when you saw enigma breastfeeding, now imagine a mother at a table near by high on drugs and not paying any attention to her child who is crying and screaming with hunger. now missy who would you cane now? it goes to show many people do not have the intelligence to distinguish between right and wrong.you keep doing what you are doing ,the only thing you keep focused on is the health and well being of your child ,and **** anyone else who is not important in your life. later on in life all your right decisions will shine through your children.i breasfed my son but when i did i would always stay put where i was and others had to leave or stay whichever they chose. i guess i was lucky everytime i breastfed him only my partner was around,. i guess the timing was good!!.hope you feel what i am saying enigma.!!

[adi]

My son was breastfed until he was 12months. I only breastfeed in public when it was discreet. I used expressed breastmilk in bottles when we went out and about to dinner, lunch etc, and found it was the best solution - baby gets breastmilk, nobody gets offended, male friends didn't get embarrassed, no stress all round. Baby is now a very healthy and happy 2 year old!

[Cuddles]

It is terrible that as a society we are bombarded with breast in advertising, magazines, movies etc and it's perfectly accepted. But breastfeeding (the reason we have breasts) seems to receive a "shocked" reaction from people. I used to take a small hand-towel with me and threw it across my shoulder - some people would say they didn't even realise I was feeding my baby. Happy motherhood.

[Ebony Deluxe]

I have 2 kids, breast fed both in public, whenever, wherever. I can't say that I have noticed any negative vibes from anyone. For those who have commented that they do not want to see it in public I feel your feelings will change once you have kids of your own. Your baby is not born with a manual so you do not know what your baby will be like. My Second daughter would not drink from a bottle and my first would not breastfeed at first. My point is that it is quite distressing for a mother when their child is crying and if the baby is crying for breast milk by all means give it to your child. If other people are offended then let them move. The primary thought on my mind when my baby is breastfeeding is that she is comfortable and getting fed, the last thing on my mind is that other people are feeling uncomfortable, people who I don't know, and probably will never see again.

[lee_lee]

I breastfed my son, however it took me alot of confidence to feed him in a cafe once when he got hungry, the owner did not say anything but one of the waitresses was not happy.  I feel that breastfeedding should be allowed everywhere it is totally natural.  You wouldn't want to go and sit in a different place to feed yourself so why should mothers who choose to feed their babied go somewhereelse to breastfeed.  People should respect mothers and understand that they are doing it for their children.

[Lolliemma]

I am currently breastfeeding my 2 month old baby and I have no worries about feeding her ANYWHERE if other people dont want to watch DONT LOOK as for burping her and her being sick well if i dont burp her I will be the one sat up all night with her having belly ache not you and if shes sick thats one way of her telling me shes had enough so I'm sorry if this upsets people but she has rights aswell to be fed when and where ever she gets hungry whether that be a public restuarant, on the bus, in a pub, in a park, car park, where ever I want to feed her!!!

i cant believe i read comments from people saying they dont want to see boobs or hear burping!! I have been sat in resturants and heard grown men belching and I have to watch grown men walking round with there tops off (and some are not so desirable to look at either) My baby is doing the most natural thing ever how can people find this offensive is beyond me! 

[lee_lee]

Lolliemma i agree with everything you have just said well done :-)

[Lolliemma]

**curtseys** thanx

[DavidBarrett]

I have a few points to make, firstly Im a bloke, so dont breastfeed myself, however I do have a child who is breastfead.

My first point is that the feeding rooms often double up as changing rooms, Im sure you can imagine the smell in a room where there is a bin basically full of poo in the corner, no amout of scented nappy bags will drown that out, so I can understand why these rooms are not often used for feeding.

Secondly when a baby is being breast fed there is very little on show, You can go into any newsagent and see more naked flesh on any magazine.

The argument that was raised about pumping breast milk into a bottle to feed the baby is ridiculous as well, obviously its possible but why? If the mother is present there is no reason to do this breast feeding saves time (no pumping) Money (no formula milk/Bottles/sterilisers etc) and Energy (no need to sterilize bottles/ heat milk etc) And its better for the baby.

Like I said to sarah last time we talked about this: next time she is out in public breast feeding Im going to sit with my bits dangling out of my trousers to divert attention from her.