Bernerd matheues

[dustypuss]

Bernerd matheues family were asked whether thay wanted wanted him buried or cremated . They replied nether they where going to have him stuffed .

[zzxxee]

lol x

[Arksided]

I can't stop laughing, please help!

;-)

[MalcolmY]

This should probably read, Bernard Matthews' family were asked whether they wanted him buried or cremated. They replied, neither, they were going to have him stuffed.

Let me explain: Bernerd - should be Bernard
Matheues - should be Matthews
There should be an apostrophe after Matthews to indicate possessive
Why is the word wanted repeated?
Nether - should be neither.
Where - should be were.

It would have been quite amusing if you'd taken the time and care to type it correctly.

[snags]

Not deboned, rolled and stuffed then?

My sides have just split.

[boxtops]

This has been on here in various versions several times since BM died. I only hope none of his relatives belong to AB...

[snags]

I bet it was his relatives that started it...

[jd_1984]

Wow, the poor guy just wanted to tell a joke! Not have his spelling and grammar scrutinised.
Having said that, Bernerd Matheues sound like "Bernards'" german cousin Lol!

[Lardhelmet_2]

It is a bit of a turkey

[boxtops]

Bernerd Matheues sounds like a Dutch cousin - there is a Dutch haulage company round here called Matheuws, are they related?

[snags]

Rumour has it that James Blunt will perform at Bernard Matthews funeral.

Details are currently unclear about which song he'll sing............

[jd_1984]

Im not going to say it!!

[NazNomad]

... seems a Cockney rhyming name will get you in everywhere nowadays?

[snags]

Bernard Matthews started his empire in Norfolk from scratch. In the early days of trading he could count the number of turkeys he had on one hand.

Six.

[B00]

Snaggles, that cracked me up, im nicking it for FB.

[snags]

Have another:

Bernard Matthews' has allegedly said he wants to keep the business in the family.

The other family in Norfolk are said to be livid.

[jd_1984]

I heard he had to scrub the first sales slogan he came up with.........."MATTHEWS TURKEYS,THEY ARE NORFOLK AND GOOD"....

[Arksided]

good on you dustypuss, most of US got it. good on you also for typing it out without the use of a spellchecker, that school you're attending has done you well thus far.

[oranger]

Did bernard have a farm a bit further south where the turkeys were SUFFOLK AND CLEVER