Drink dependant dad

[zzxxee]

My dad is 62 is drink dependant and has been all his life. He works full time but every night will get through a bottle of vodka with my mum, or two or 3 bottles of wine.
Anyway years ago he was violent to my mum but has not been for years. He does however get verbally agressive. My 13 year year old daughter no longer wants to sleep round her grandparents house because of this and when i told him he put the phone down on me. He does have good qualities, is generous to a fault , is fantastic at helping my daughter with homework ect a very clever intelligent man.
But will get very defensive when challanged about his drinking.
Medically he has a condition called poriria and should not drink, and has gout i am at my wits end please help. Any advise would be welcome x

[carmalee]

It's a sad state of affairs when he prefers to drink rather than see his grand-child - just goes to show what a dreadful afflication drink dependency is. It's your daughter I feel sorry for as she has no choice in the matter. Only solution is honesty and tell her he's an addict to booze and probably would like to give it up but can't. She must be distraught. Chin up though zzxxee - lots of people here for you anytime.

[chrissa1]

Sadly zzxxee this mirrors my experience. My husband drinks heavily although he has stopped (at this moment in time) as his doctor told him he is in the latter stages of Cirrhosis of the liver. He chose to carry on drinking when our granddaughter was born and my son told him to choose between booze or his family. At the time he chose booze and therefore missed her Christening.
As others have said there is nothing you can do but say your daughter can't stay anymore especially if your mother is drinking too, it's not safe for her. Take Care.

[zzxxee]

thanks all for your supportive comments and willingness to share your own experiences it means a lot to me x

[dinkydoo]

My mother became an alcoholic after the death of my stepfather, when she was sober of a morning we used to talk about the problem of her drinking, she said do you think I want to be like this, we thought if she didnt she would do something about it, and she did, unfortunately she took her own life. I feel so guilt ridden about this, even after 37 years,she would have obviously lived a longer life if we had left her to her own devises.

[mike11111]

I remember being told years ago, when I was drinking heavily, that, "Drink is the great leveller". From the tramp on the park bench to the Prince in his palace, the effects and consequences are the same.

[zzxxee]

im taking a step back from visits this week its the half term week so i want to spend some time doing nice things with my daughter then next weekend i will do a morning visit and see how that goes.