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How to get over the love of your life

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gemmabe | 13:38 Fri 19th Aug 2005 | Body & Soul
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I have just been told by someone I thought I would spend the rest of my life with that we are not right for each other. He did this by text message. Part of me thinks he is trying to make me hate him to make it easier for me to deal with. There is a big age gap between us and my family refused to even meet him throughout our relationship which was very hurtful. I have been with people in the past who I cared deeply about but this feels like cutting off my right arm for want of a better phrase. He's ignoring my messages - I am having a very bad time at home right now (I still live with my family) and looked to him for support, I feel so hurt and let down. Would anyone think that moving away is the answer? I have no one in this area to stay for anymore. I have my driving test in 3 days and am nervous about that too. Everything is on top of me and the people I love the most in the world are not here when I need them the most. How do I get over this? Sorry to post such an emotional message, but "writing" everything down has helped albeit very little. 
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i was seeing a guy untill recently.... there was a big age gap and my parents didnt really approve but they grew to love him.... one day out of nowhere he txed me saying he was really sorry but it wasnt working.... i replied but never heard from him again. he lived an hour away but i really thought he ws the guy i was going to settle down with.... it takes time hun but you will get over it xx

It does hurt ... so much.  But he isn't the love of your life if he can treat you so callously.  you are yet to meet the love of your life.

Concentrate on passing your driving licence as that will open up whole new possibilities for you.  Give yourself time to grieve this man and this relationship, but look forward, try to learn to rely on yourself rather than someone else and when you are the best that you can be, you will meet the love of your life and he will not make you hurt like this x x good luck x x

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I think as I said, he is trying to force me to forget him and move on. He has always felt like once he gets older because of the age gap he is going to hold me back. Thing is I don;t care about the age gap, I care about him, not superficially. I would have been there for him til the end. I gave him my vulnerability and now I have to do without him. True love isn't about superficial things like appearance, and age, and money. I just loved HIM, and thought he felt the same, but obviously I was wrong.

I know it sounds petty to hear this now, but time is the biggest healer. So is meeting someone else. - Both are things that will happen to you and you wont be able to avoid them. Just try to think of this, and how much more you will appreciate it after this kind of hurt. As for moving away, I think you will know in your heart of hearts if this is the right thing to do or not. Best of luck, and try to keep smiling! xxxxxx

Don't know how much older he is than you, but he has certainly shown by dumping you by text that he is so much more of a child than you are.

Move on, you don't need him, and can certainly do so much better!

Could it maybe be that he felt he may have been the cause of some of your troubles? if you aren't happy at home and want to move out, he mey feel responsible for the situation for you at home. I dont pretend to know anything about your situation, just want to maybe give you another way of looking at it? The text was probably a way of ending the relationship that was easiest for him. he may feel that you are better off without him? so instead of him being childish and not able to do it to your face, he may have been trying to help the both of you out? Sorry if i've gone in completely the wrong direction, but that was the first thing that came into my head when i read your question.
My mam said to me when I was a young girl that I'd kiss an awful lot of toads before I find my prince, sound advice I thought and still do, you thought you had found your prince! but if he had truely had loved you he woundn't have so callously have ended the relationship the way he did by texting you, that is a COWARDS way out.  Dont make excuses for him or blame yourself you played the game right , he didn't! and if he cared, age difference shouldn't have been an issue, it wasn't at the start of the relationship and if he had any gumption he could have proved this to your family.  Give your self some breathing space about where or what you want to do, I know you must be hurting right now, and your head is probably like scrabbled egg, but be strong, I hope you have a good friend/s to help you through this difficult time.  When the time is right, get yourself back there, because there is still an awful lot of toads to kiss and one them will be your prince.  Good Luck  :-)
well if he was the love of your life...you can't get over him...obveously he wasn't...you can just give it time

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