Right den ma biatch. I is off to your old womans village and I is gonna torch that box. If you've got beef wiv dat, den tuff man.
Soljaboy braaaaap
Translation:
Hello there, and good afternoon M'lady. I am going to organise an afternoons sojurn to your Mater's hamlet for the purpose of sinsong round the campfire. However, I have heard that there is a shortage of firewood in the locality, so I will be force to make do with using your telephone box instead. I'm awfully sorry about this, and I hope this does not cause any upset between us
Take care and all the best
Mr B Jugs12 Esq