Dealing with a slob...Practical Solutions

[Velvetee]

I've mentioned before my Partner is a slob, a bit like Stig of the dump infact. Whilst he's very clean in himself, bathes 2-3 times per day etc, he has no concept of how to live hygienically in the home.

Since I moved in with him over 2 years ago, I've spent numerous hours tidying away his paperwork, hundreds of coke cans and food wrappers, picking clothing off the floor all for him to come home and put it back to how it was within hours.

My new baby should be here by the weekend and the house is almost up to scratch. We've both been tidying, cleaning and doing things to make it look homely. However, I'm very worried he will not be able to maintain a tidy home environment.

Already I've been throwing cans and chocolate wrappers away, that he's left lying around and I went to the loo, he'd used the last of the Toilet roll, but didn't replace it. The bag was just outside the bathroom door too.

I'm very concerned that when the baby comes home, I'll have my hands full with him, but won't be able to control the mess and clutter of my partner. It will be like having a baby and a toddler and I know it will make me depressed. All I seem to do is nag and just don't know how to get through to him, that as an adult he needs to make the effort to put things away, clear up after himself etc.

I honestly blame his Mother. I'm the first woman he's lived with and he lived at home with his parents until he met me. From what I've heard, his Mother did everything for him. I don't want to be his replacement Mother. What can I do to get him to be tidy?

[ELVIS68]

Nah, sorry Ice, I don`t buy it, if he bathes 2-3 times a day from sweating then obviously he`s got a concience and if that`s the case he wouldn`t wallow around in coke tins and food wrappers

[sn�gs]

''have thought about a blunt object on many an ocassion.''

This is where you are going wrong... you need something sharp and pointy...


''What can I do to get him to be tidy?''

I like Panic's idea of 'losing it, big time. Go mental.'

[tamborine]

Am not surprised at the rise in divorce rates with this sort of advice - even the counsellor had to explain to him, that his behaviour shows a lack of respect for me Stop counselling - this one is just a stirrer!

By the time your son starts crawling you will have got control of cleaning. Dont drive OH away with your demands.

[Velvetee]

Perhaps I'm supposed to pick them up Elvis, if that's what he was used to with his Mum. That woman has alot to answer for.

I had a strict West Indian upbringing and every Saturday I'd have to be up at 8am and vacuum and clean the house, all my friends from similar backgrounds had to do the same and that was from the age of 10.

I certainly don't plan to molly coddle my baby, when he's at a certain age, he'll do his chores like I believe kids should.

[Ice.Maiden]

Awww...you say that now, V, but children need to be allowed to be just that - kids. Your son WILL learn one day, but if you're too strict with him, he'll probably turn out the opposite

[Velvetee]

I suppose you have to make it fun. I learnt responsibility from an early age, I honestly think children have things too easy these days, just sitting around watching TV and playing computer games, when they could be taking an active role in the family unit. Knowing how to keep their room tidy and turn the washing machine on can't hurt.

[tamborine]

Do you live in a mansion - is that why clearing after 1 man is such a chore? I presume he's earning to fund you & son. Then he deserves respect from you to care for him, home & babe.

[snorpah]

you could try picking all the rubbish up and putting it in his side of the bed if he doesn't have a car for you to load it up with.

good luck

[CAJ1]

Hi velvetee,

I know how frustrating this can be!! I got to the stage where I said to my other half if he expected me to run round after him he could bloody well move back in with his mother. That sorted him out lol. He needs to tidy up behind himself and not expect you to do it for him - that is a lack of respect. What about sitting down together and working out a rota of who does what and when so that its fair? I know I am a clean freak and I don't make my boyfriend clean to my standard but as long as he runs the hoover round, cooks or picks up after himself that does me.

[888sally888]

My suggestion - its a goodie!!

The first nappy is vile so strap that round his head until he agrees to grow up and tidy up!!

[ummmm]

I do everything for my BF. Since I've lived with him I think he's put the washing machine on once. I just do it without thinking but.....he treats me like his precious little princess. No one's allowed to upset me.

Velvetee....you're in for a shock when the baby arrives. My youngest is a spoilt brat. A spoilt brat that I allow to be cos I love him and he's my 'little baby'

I don't mean to treat him differently but apparently I do.

[gossipgirl]

he sounds like a typical man to me, my partner is just the same and yet he will have a moan if the kids leave there mess about lol

[sqad617]

Some of the posts truely amaze me.
How can one live in a house with empty packets all over the place, toilet seats up, empty cans and the worst of all, ashtrays full of cigarette ends......urghhhhhh!!

You have had other problems with the "man of the house" according to your previous posts and deserver better than him.

Future prognosis for the relationship?..........poor.

[chelle7272]

Mines exactly the same!
I am constantly picking up and clearing up after my OH too, and he'll sit and watch me clean the table and then chuck rubbish on it!!

Tamborine - your comment about clearing up after 1 man being such a chore I felt was pretty harsh.
I work just as many hours as he does so yes it is a chore, and it does show disrespect.

And he will have go at my son for not doing the same things, when he's hardly setting an example.
But by the sounds of the posts here, it's pretty typical

[caththecrazy]

He sounds like he's a teenager - who finishes a can of coke and doesn't put it into the recycling? or chocolate wrappers in the bin? He shouldn't need telling he's not a child.

That would drive me insane. I do the majority of the housework as I am at home most of the time but if I'm out with the boys and he comes in, he'll hoover if it needs doing or start cooking.

Hopefully when your baby arrives he'll shape up orI 'd be shipping him out.

[BeatySwalls]

where has whifffey gone? has he had a baby yet?

[BeatySwalls]

oops I mean velvetee naturally. silly silly silly me. who could possibly ever make such an absurd mistake really.