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my 17 year oldmoved in with her grandparents

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zzxxee | 17:16 Thu 30th Apr 2009 | Family & Relationships
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im heartbroken shes been gone 5 months shes 18 in june and we still dont seem to be getting on any better she wont come home if i come down to visit she goes upstairs ive done nothing wrong i dont no where to go from here any suggestions?
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Schut - I was refering to, "It might have been better if the grandparents had not agreed for your daughter to stay there, which would have brought home to her the need for the situation at home to be resolved once and for all"

& Squitty "I agree that it would have been better if the grandparents hadn't been quite so willing to take her in. This is exactly the same as happened to my 17 year old who left home after an argument & turned up on the grandparents door"

I don't know about Squitty, but as with all posts there are things that are assumed, or hoped for, that are not there in black and white. I would have hoped that perhaps the Grandad would have taken the girl back home, and tried to talk some sense into her. Certainly not that she should be left to roam the streets. Sorry if the meaning was misunderstood.
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some of the suggestions on here have been a bit dark and sinister please do not turn something you know nothing about into a horrendeous situation omg some people are sick
but once again thanks for all the good advice and to the one or two sickos you no who you are thanks........for nothing
hang on, zzxxe. You asked for 'suggestions'. And I imagine that the 'dark sinister' things crossed everyones mind when they read your post. And it seems to have touched a raw nerve, dispite the fact no-one really said what they thought it was. More to this story than meets the eye, I believe.
Oh! dear zzxxee. This is getting into deep water, with the impressions that some posters have. I can't think of anything better for you to do than as I posted previously, to try to arrange a family conference. Could you explain to your daughter, perhaps in a letter, that as she feels old enough to leave home, at least she could be adult enough to give you an honest answer about what was troubling her sufficiently to make her want to leave home, and be so horrible to you. It just might get a response. I do hope so, because the longer it's left the worse it will get. Best wishes. Schutz.
zzxxee

'Just let the hare sit' I know this is hard on you and your partner and what makes it worse is that there is no apparent reason. Don't try to fill in the blanks............leave that up to your daughter.
She's just about to turn 18 and at that age all sorts of fears and anxieties fill their minds.
If you can just bear with the situation, don't put any pressure on her you'll find that she'll come round round when she is ready.
I think it's great that she has soewhere to go. I would imagine that if her Grandparents were aware of what was going on they would have told you by now especially if it was somethings sinister! Hope all works out.
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to everyone who has totally gone right into looking at something that was not there we all went out and had a family meal lots of straight talking was done and my partner and daughter are getting back on track.. It boils down to the fact my daughter felt she was totally pushed out and jelous and has let this build up and build up for years rather than speaking from her heart .............. it is not going to be fixed over night but at least were on the road of hope...
if someone asks for opinios and advise be free to give it but think carefully from an outsider looking in point of you comments can be nasty and hurtfull it doesnt always boil down to abuse as some of you thought
just an insecure teenager dealing with HER emotions HER way
Glad you got a chance to sort it out zzxxee and hope she comes home soon.
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thank you so much jan bless your hear t my lovely xxxx
zzxxe maybe in future better not to post your personal problems on here to save distressing yourself?

youre saying some users overreacted , and fair enough on that point to a certain extent .

but in a few days to go from not being in same room and not talking for 5 months to now having a meal and its all sorted.

well seems you may have totally overeacted by posting this.

i suggest next time you fallout go for a meal.


seems stupid that for 5 months you both havent spoken and thats alll it took ?


and remember that some users have a valid point too as there are cases where dark things like that do happen , though obviously not in this case , reading this may help someone else in just such a situation .


now hopefully she moves back and its all sorted.


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it hasnt been a case of not talking one day to all sorted the next i have been pushing for a family get together for months it just was a coincidence that this was posted to the time of the meal.... and its far from sorted just a foot on the right road
Hi zzxxee. I'm so pleased for you and the whole family that things are at last moving in the right direction. At least now you have something to build on. I wish you everything of the best for the future. Do take good care of your self. Much love. Schutz.

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