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ex bof

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dizzle1234 | 13:49 Mon 20th Apr 2009 | Relationships & Dating
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me an my ex was going out for 5 years so ther is a lot of history x we have been split up now for 8 months, i have not spoken to him for 3 monthes then sudunly one day recieved a mess from him staten his mised me an loved me an that from wen he was abroad, i found out he had a gf but still i met up with him anyway we went out a few times went out to blkpool an stayed over there an for the bank hol an yes of course was sleeping together an all in this time he had a gf, who he sed he loved after 3 monthes just on fri i have told his gf as he was messing me about now he is saying that he loves her an dont wanna speake to me i think shes even forgave him too he has always don this with me since we split up its like he misses me everyso often ? can anyone help me with this a mean do u think he loves her ? is it even possible after 3 monthes to love someone when aweek ago he sed he still loves me
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He doesn't loves you or his new girlfriend, just himself. He knows he can get away with treating you both as he pleases and have you both whenever he chooses, so he can tell you whatever he wants and you will believe him.

You need to stop all this rubbish and cease all contact with him, he's just playing games with you, but if you refuse to participate, then he can't continue to hurt you. Just wise up to the situation.

Good luck
He wants his cake and to eat it - and he's getting it!

Don't have any more to do with him dizz; he's just using you and this other girl.

Tell him to stuff his cake - & that you aint going to make his sponge rise any more.
How funny Salla and apt.
Forget him, you broke up for a reason, its not long after you split you're still getting over that and so is he, don't let him use you. Plus if he's got a girlfriend and is sleeping with you behind her back, he's not really the sort of bloke you want anyway is he?
Question Author
but do u think u can love someone after 3 months espcally with wat hes done behind her back
yes rarely, very rarely, you can love someone after one day, time makes no differene to love, it can however change how you percieve a person over time so love can fade in and out of a relationship sometimes somewhat randomly as the way someone behaves can have a deep effect upon your perception of them in terms of rmantic association. With regards to the other lady, you are naturally assuming she has the same social and moral values as you do, which is that fidelity is top of her agenda, when she may have entirely different values and not really care that much if her boyfriend enjoys himself elsewhere occasionally.
Everyone is different, but a word of advice, this does not sound healthy for you, as it's clearly distressing you, so probably best if you take these good people's advice and tell him to sling his hook unless he can commit to you solely.
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but its all so confusing to me i just think the first few months of going out with someone is wen its at its best, an if he loves her so much then y is he wanting to cheat on her an mainly telling me he loves and misses me x its just strange to me saying u love someone after 3 monthes an then cheating on them ????? i mean does it sound like he does or has anyone been in the same sit x
Sorry to be blunt here, but guys like that are opportunists.

He is cheating on her with you, because you are willing, and its easier to call you up, than have to go and chat up someone new.

As for why he is cheating on her at all after a few months- he is a loser, and a manipulator who likes to make girls feel insecure enough to allow him to get away with anything.

You are worth more than to get involved with him again. Delete his number, ignore his messages, and stay away from any new girlfriends he might get.

Question Author
no i want ppl to tell me the truth an be blunt if u must, i no wat u mean by milipulating because i used to txt him an that an he called me a stalker an a weirdo an everythink coz ad txt him more then like 3 times a day an yes he did make me feel v insucure sometimes as thow i cant be without him an in my hed ad be thinkin that all the time, i told him he was usen me an u no wat his answer was that hes not so please stop saying that an that he loves his new gf coz hes with er now an he loves me coz i used to be an i was a big part of his life an he misses me, either way ano u are all rite i no wat i should do but its so hard
also i gave him lots of oppertunites to end it an he sed he doesnt think bout laura thats how he can do it, like wen we went away to blkpool last bnk hol he told his gf he was working away overnight an blanked her calls for the 2 days an she nows this an still has stayed with him,
so with all of this in ur mind can u actually say he loves her ?
Of course he can SAY he loves her. Whether he means it, no one will know other than him.
Regardless of whether he loves her, he is no good for you, and will carry on using and manipluating you as long as you stay in touch with him.

It is her problem to work out if he loves her.

One thing we can be sure of, if he is treating you like this, and carrying on with another girl, he sure as hell is NOT love with you....

FORGET HIM AND MOVE ON!

(soz, - you did say you wanted blunt!)
Question Author
YE ANO AM BEING STUPID, am being stupid even seeig hm anyway coz hes gettin done for assault for beating me x but it is hard wen u love sumone so much weather they love u back or not thaks for all ur advice x
he assaulted you and you still went back to him?

and why on earth did you tell his girlfriend, what did you expect that to solve?

he loves no-one, and you cant think much of yourself either. walk away with some dignity intact
He does not love you and does not love his new girlfriend. He is just a player and a chancer, stop wasting energy and effort thinking about him and whether or not he can love someone after 3 months. Go and meet someone more deserving. You will never know the truth.
He's an idiot and a 'taker',....if it is there on a plate for him then he will say whatever it takes to keep you and the gf sweet. And the reason you hang onto him is because you do not value yourself enough.
Dump him.....and then try to learn to be more independent,and learn to like yourself. Then you can rid yourself of low-lifes like him.Then you can find someone who won't mess you about or beat you like he has.
Why is this guy behaving as he is? Because he's got 2 doormats with not an ounce of self esteem between them letting him get away with it, taking him back, forgiving his appalling behaviour That's why.
lets gets straight to the point...

he is a **** and selfish ... he doesnt love you or his girlfriend stop being a fool he is using you...

tell him where to stick it and move one there are plenty more fish in the sea...

bloody hell
Exactly what language is this?
Ah girl,

i know what your going through. i went with a guy for 3 years...treated me like rubbish and when we broke up he was sleeping with another girl 3 days after we split up. Now 5 years is a LONG time...and if he truely loved you...why'd he move on so soon?? Truth being your relationship is over. He's now getting exactly what he wants. 2 girls...gosh he must be proud...

I think the best revenge is to go out and be sucessful. Forget him. Leave him to it. Concentrate on you & find someone who wont do this to you! Enjoy life to the max and keep him at bay!

xx
Question Author
thanks a lot jodey model it is hard i no, 5 yrs was a long time guess u dont expect sum2 to treat u like that who u have known since u was 14 then gone out for 5 yrs
Don't let him use u girl but why didn you still have feelings for him? in which case its very understandable or just didn't have much to do n took the opportunity to have a weekend away? not so understandable as this is like you both used each other for each to get what it wants? If he loved you he would have behaved very different so if u don't love him keep away from him am sure in the end you will find someone to respect love you more

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