i went to the local pet shop today and asked the shop keeper if i could buy a wasp. he said sorry we dont sell wasp's. i said well why have you got two in your shop window then.
masked man walks into a Belfast petshop-leaves down a bomb on the floor and says '' youve two minutes to get out''
from the back of the petshop a parrot replies '' youre not giving the tortoises much of a f**king chance ! ''