cheating fiance

[bubbles4920]

what would you do if you found your fiance was still cheating on you via email with someone in uk, you lived abroad with him and had no one to stay with anywhere?what would you do, where would you turn first?

[bubbles4920]

she was an ex floozy who has pursued him for nearly 8 yrs on and off, from work. hes seen her twice in that period could be more, who knows!? even moving to the other side of the world shows she is still trying to get him, saying come and get me, you know you want to, admit you made a mistake (bringing me instead), she even tried to get him to bring her over here last year when she found out we were moving, she cant move on it seems. i found sexual texts in aug and he denied he was replying. now on his email its him encouraging it too,very sexually explicit and meaningful too.he says hes just flirting and it boosts his ego,. he is so scared of losing me now, i want to be strong and walk away as ive given him so many chances, he says he doesnt want her though. i just dont see how i can stay always suspecting things, we were supposed to be getting married next summer. i couldnt move on as it was, always thinking about it everyday. he does say he thinks he needs counselling as hes scared that if she emails in future he may be tempted, this scares me but at least thats the honest bit! he says hes funnily enough the happiest hes ever been with me recently. also do i see it that shes won if i go as she seems to be grinding him down, reminding him of what they did and obviously what he liked? im still in shock i think so i may get angry yet! at least its with the same woman i suppose but is that worse i dont know?!

[Tizzi247]

My ex was cjheating on me and for a while I was suicidal. I eventually pulled myself together by thinking that no man (or woman) was worth ending my life for.

Is there no way you could work as a nannie or similar, where you have accommodation provided with the job? Falling apart is not going to do you any good, you must try and figure a way out. Best of luck!

[Marijn]

The swapping of sexy emails IS cheating. He was keeping it a secret, so there was obviously deceit involved.
There IS a difference between flirting openly in front of your partner, and covert emails with sexual content.
The rules is ... if you wouldn't want your partner to know what you were doing or saying to a member of the opposite sex, then it's cheating!

[cazzz1975]

I would come back to the uk, to my hometown and straight to the council, they would give me emergency accommodation albeit it would be pretty but it would be a roof over my head until I could find work and rent somewhere nicer

[cazzz1975]

above all a frank discussion of whats being going on is needed

[bubbles4920]

he is a good man on the whole, he did say it was just a cheap thrill yes and he is living in a fantasy world with it. i suppose ive discovered something that ive wanted to know for years, his take on it and now i know. i almost see it worse than catching them together in bed, ive read what he thinks and says to her.the only good thing about the emails was the fact that he never put me down in them.

[Velvetee]

Vibrasphere are you male and are you in a relationship, but swap sexy e mails with other women?

I wonder if a survey was carried out, how many men would say sending sexy, intimate notes, e mails and texts to women outside of their relationship is not cheating?

I'm sorry, but it IS cheating. If your other half started chatting online or otherwise to someone else, describing what they want to do with them sexually, would you think hey ho, it's not a problem, they're just having fun?