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massive age gap.

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annie b | 19:07 Thu 03rd Feb 2005 | Body & Soul
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34 year old woman and 19 year old man,  in a relationship, how acceptable is this ?  were very compatible and get on very well but are worried of peoples reactions.  i realise it shouldnt matter but just wondering about what  ABers  think ?

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Go for it ! - I admit it is unusual but if you are both as happy as you say, great, It would be daft to miss the opportnuity for fear of what other people think.
It's fine by me!  Seriously though, you are both adults and there is nothing wrong in being different.  Any negative comments i'm sure, will be down to jealousy!  My fiance is 10 years older than me, Japanese and a good deal shorter than me...we get some funny looks, but who cares!
This is the same age gap as my aunty and her boyfriend. People were a bit shocked at first but 5 years later nobody bats an eyelid as they see what a great couple they make. Go 4 it!

If the sexes were reversed and you were the bloke with a 19 year old girfriend you would be being congratulated!!  Absolutely go for it. Life is to short and happiness hard to find so take your chances when you can. 

I dunno...bit iffy if you ask me.

I mean, 19? He's only recently out of school. Not to be a wet blanket or anything but it seems a little strange. Wonder what your respective friends and family think.

Then again, if you're ok with it that's the main thing

Question Author
very interesting comments.  thanks to you all !
well they do say men peak at 19 and women in their 30's so i'd go for it if i were you! i wouldn't think anything of it if i saw you out on date. Anyway who cares what anyone else thinks as long as you are happy.

do you have kids?? if so then you should consider their feelings if not then go for it fair play to you .
My sister is 45 next birthday and her husband is 29. They've been married for 2 years and are blissfully happy. In fact he has 2 stepsons that are only a few years younger than him and a new grandchild. All the family think he's great!!

If it helps, I am 31 and my wife is 53. We got married in 2002 but have been together for 7 years now. We are very happy together.

She has 2 kids, eldest is 26, youngest is 23 and has a 18 month year old girl - this means I am a (step) grandfather at 31!

Some people stop and stare but ironically, the only friendship that was lost was because I am of Asian origin, nothing to do with my age.

If you are happy, go for it. Some relationships work, some don't. You may be happy for 6 months, you may be happy for life or anywhere in between. Just like any relationship regardless of age

Go for it, I was in a similar relationship years ago and the age difference did her head in  - so much so she ended it (to set me free apparently as well as the age thing) she regretted it for years after and now it's just too late for both of us.  All you've got is now, just do what feels right.

I may raise an eyebrow for about 5 minutes, then it wouldn't be 'news' anymore.

If you're happy honey, go for it.  Trust me, there's a hell of a lot of people that aren't.  You might have to put up with some stick, just make sure you don't let it get in between you.  And don't feel under any pressure to prove that it can work either, because that'll tear you apart quicker than anything else.

Good luck xx

Defintely go for it. There are no guarantees in any relationship.  People who are quick to judge and make negative comments are usually those who are unhappy with their own lives.
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all your comments are very incouraging and helpful.thanks to you all......whatever happens i feel as if i should just give it a go and lets see what happens !

I suspect that the hypocrites and critics look at you in your relationship and pass judgement, because it does not conform to what they believe is normal. If you are both happy in your relationship why not. I say to you best of luck and dont allow the 'knockers' and detractors' to impact on the relationship that you have. 

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